It's been awhile since I have watched a gawd-awful movie. Evidence of this is my lack of reviews as of late.
Well I killed that by watching a seriously lacking made for TV flick from Sidney J. Furie called Road Rage.
Road Rage begins rather ridiculously and sadly does not improve with time. Starting out we find really old college student Sonia (Danielle Brett, who's biggest role was probably starring with Dolph Lundgren in Jill The Ripper) kicking her abusive beau Bo to the curb since she found out he cheated on her. Bo doesn't like being tossed aside like the cheap trash that he is and tries to bully Sonia into changing her mind.
It's about this time that mildly egotistical Jim, (Casper Van Dien who apparently loves starring in cheesy modern-day made for TV B-movies and also plays an over-aged college student) steps in to rescue the damsel in distress (Sonia, not Bo) and offers Sonia a ride home in his "grandma's car."
Once on the road the two get caught up in flirtatious conversation, and Sonia soon informs Jim that he is passing her exit. He decides to whip his grandma car across highway lanes in an attempt to catch the exit, and cuts off a rather large pickup truck with illegally tinted windows in the process.
Truck-guy doesn't take too kindly to being cut off, and decides to show his irritation in a more mood killing way than just laying on the horn or flipping Jim off. Instead he opts to exact some serious road rage, chasing our two wannabe lovebirds in a multiple crash inducing highway chase that miraculously kills no one, and goes completely unreported and unnoticed by the cops. So when our two narrowly escape death and find themselves left to their own devises, they decide its in their best interest to go back to flirting and acting as nothing has just happened.
Huh? You think now is a good time to just hang out, laughing about the days events and planning your next romantic date? Sitting parked in the same car the bad guy knows you drive, in a desolate - deserted even - area, so if psycho-boy decides to come back and finish what he started, he could come drag you out of your car, rip off your head and skullfuck you in broad moonlight, and no one would see or even do anything to help.... Really?
Why? Because its about this time that insane truck guy rolls back around, but instead of violating the two would-be lovebirds in a gruesomely brutal manner that would have been cool as shit and long overdue for a movie such as this, rolls down the passenger window so we can see that he has a buddy riding shotgun.... a buddy none other than a very irate recently dumped beau - Sonia's Bo.
Ok so you would think things might really get good at this point (provided everything else didn't totally suck already) but you'd be wrong. A movie that seems like it couldn't get any worse.... does.
Now I'm not one to usually comments on acting ability or even subject matter believability because lets face it... the movies I tend to watch and review offer everything EXCEPT good acting and believability (although more often than not there is usually a good bit of bloodshed and naked boobage to make up for it.)
Sadly Road Rage offers neither. Yeh yeh, so no surprise from the drivel I usually watch, but what made me really regret watching this movie was Danielle Brett; or perhaps I should say the role they cast her in. Aside from her seriously overacting the part, she plays an abused chick who actually sacks up and dumps her cheating beau Bo, but when the new guy steps in and immediately exhibits similar traits - such as wanting to play (and even prolong) the stupid raindeer games psycho truck driver initiates - she finds it appealing. O-M-G!! Why do the dumb chicks in these movies always have to go gaga for losers? And she never even flashes boob to make up for it.... goes to explain why she's done virtually nothing since 2001.
So do I recommend watching Road Rage? Hell NO! This movie sucks so bad you can't even find a video clip of the trailer on YouTube - EVERYTHING can be found on YT!
Oh well, decide for yourself, but right now I gotta go watch Lake Dead... which I am sure is a cult classic yet to be discovered!
Posted on 04.02.11