Bloodsucking Fiends – A Vampires Love Story

I was doing my usual blog hopping as per the alphabetical listing on my blogroll (although I don't visit them alphabetically since I like to "mix it up" most days) and noticed on Ryne's blog over at The Moon is a Dead World that he is compiling a really cool gathering of sorts for those with a certain affinity to vampires, called the "Review A Vampire Movie/Talk About Vampires for An Unstated Length of Time Blog-A-Thon" (Ryne fully admits this is an odd choice for titles but he's sticking to it, and quite frankly, I see no reason to argue the point.)

The gathering isn't so much of a bar-b-q of IRS body parts (post to follow,) but rather a virtual gathering of posts written by us cool folk who have something to say when it comes to vamps. Be it a movie review, a book review, or perhaps just a stated opinion on the subject of blood suckers, it's all about vampires.

Anyway you bite it, it's well worth the visit to both Ryne's blog, and the cool peeps he links to (like me.)

My contribution is a review of one of my favorite books: "Bloodsucking Fiends" written by one of my most favorite authors, the very talented Christopher Moore.

Christopher Moore is mostly known for his absurdist fiction as his work has a nonsensical, comedic twist to it. Additionally his work has a flavor of the bizarre, somewhat freaky, and well..... absurd! Not necessarily in a horrific way, but rather a "what the F***??" kind of way.

Synopsis of "Bloodsucking Fiends"

Jody didn't ask to become a vampire. As a matter of fact, she was rather pissed off to realize she was one after waking up under a dumpster with a wad of cash, a "sun"burned arm, superhuman strength, and an insatiable thirst for blood.

Needing a "human" to do the daily tasks she no longer can, Jody enlists C. Thomas Flood (Tommy to his friends,) a 19-year old beatnik wannabe author from Indiana who works midnights at the local Safeway and specializes in turkey bowling, along with his motley crew of co-workers, The "Animals." He's not quite what Jody had in mind but he fits the bill (plus the sex is a bonus since Tommy is more than willing to appease her kinky appetite and her blood lust.)

Since Jody needs to feed and Tommy can't provide the level of "food" she requires, Jody adopts a sort of "mercy" killing mentality and targets the terminally ill; killing two birds with one stone, if you will.

What really sucks though (no pun intended) is that neither Jody nor Tommy have any idea of what being a vampire involves, and they kind of stumble through it day by day, with Tommy conducting odd experiments on Jody to test her abilities and vulnerabilities (with or without her permission.)

All these events provide quite the amusement for Jody's "sire" as he lurks from afar, strategically placing clues and dead bodies at almost every turn, enticing Jody with the hunt for self discovery and entertainment for his own twisted little games.

Too bad the cops want to charge Tommy with all the dead bodies that keep piling up.....

Summation

If you want an intense drama with not even a smide of humor, read Ann Rice. If you want a rollercoaster ride of romance, sex, murder, and mystery with a comedic twist, then I strongly suggest you try Bloodsucking Fiends. This book will make you laugh in amusement, chew your nails in suspense, fan yourself with heated desire, and cringe ovet the callous killings.

And if at the end of this book you find yourself wanting more (as I did) then you will be happy to know that Christopher Moore came out with a sequel. Of course, I had to wait 11 years for it, but you guys have the advantage of time passed on your side. It's no where near as good as the first, but still definitely worth the read.

Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story

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Retail Price: $14.99

Amazon Price: $10.19

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Bentley Little: The Association

I noticed something today.

In all my posts, not ever have I reviewed a book. And I'm not talking about Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance although there are those that would swear its the best book ever published (me not being one of them.)

I'm talking about horror novels. Novels by great authors such as Stephen King; Richard Laymon; Bentley Little. And if you want a comedic twist thrown in, then I highly suggest Christopher Moore (Bloodsucking Fiends was awesome but I will save that review for later.)

So today I want to review one of my favorite Bentley Little novels, The Association.

I probably need to preface this post with a little information about Mr. Little. For starters, his mind is definitely more warped than that of Stephen King (at least on paper) in that he likes to shock with a very intense gore factor. Now understand that Stephen King ranks as probably my favorite (I love his overly descriptive style) but he does not go overboard in entrails and dismemberment in the same manner as Bentley Little likes to do.

Secondly, Bentley Little likes to dabble in controversial subject matters which might make the reader question whether or not it's worth reading his books. I've had a couple occasion of this myself (mostly in cases of child molestation and incest) but ultimately he does rank as one of my favorites.

(It may also interest you to know that Bentley Little published his first novel The Revelation in 1990, and as a result won the Bram Stoker Award for "Best First Novel.")

Introduction to "The Association"

Anyone who has ever lived in a subdivision where a set of bylaws dictates how your home is to be maintained could probably relate to a chapter or more of this book. Yes, associations offer a clean and uniform community that can prove safer and cleaner and retain (if not improve) resale value, but does it stop there? And what of the people that make up this so called "association?" Are they looking out for your best interests, or theirs?

Brad & Maureen Welch thought they were leaving their crazy California lifestyle for a more peaceful and quiet one, but the problem with small towns is that your business soon becomes everyone else's and you never really know who you can trust.

Synopsis

It's always recommended that whenever you sign your name to any document, know what you are signing; read the fine print.

Unfortunately the Welch's missed that day in class as they soon discover that what they signed when moving into the peaceful gated community of Bonita Vista was not only an association agreement, but an agreement to abide by their rules at any cost (and I'm not just talking monetary repercussions!)

Paint your house the wrong color? Well, that might cost you a hand. Plant the wrong shrubs? Perhaps we'll take both hands for that crime. Want to dispute the association? No problem. Just know they will make your life a living hell that may not be worth living afterall....

Conclusion

As stated above, The Association is one of my favorite books. I highly recommend that if you do decide to read it, set aside the whole day as you won't want to put this book down.

Just know going in that it will be gory, it will be grotesque, and it will push the boundaries of the more "traditional" horror novel.

(Oh - and in case you are wondering, child molestation and incest are not traits of this novel so in case you have certain restrictions in your literature (as do I) know that those are not a consideration for this novel.)

The Association

Overall Rating:

Retail Price: $7.99

Amazon Price: $2.94

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