Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak….

Flight of the Living Dead is a relatively new zombie flick (2007) that sort of incorporates Snakes on a Plane thrills with a sort of Dawn of the Dead feel. It sounds kind of loser-y I know, but you might be surprised to find yourself liking this one.

Cause & Effect

Your typical "let's reanimate the dead so they can fight our wars" scientific mentality comes in to play right out of the gate. This scientist however has not gotten the o.k. from the powers that be, so he has enlisted a fellow scientist to play guinea pig for his genetically engineered virus.

Upon trying to "smuggle" said guinea pig in the cargo hold of a flight from LA to Paris, the ideal plan goes horribly awry (never saw THAT one coming) when the plane hits not one, but two severe thunderstorms. The result of course, is your required electronics malfunction that not only messes up the radio system so the plane cannot make ground contact should they need to (hint hint) but it also means that the sealed container holding the scientist/guinea pig becomes conveniently unsealed setting her free.

A guard set in place to keep an eye on things gets freaked out by the scientist crawling out of her box, so even though she is still human at this point, he shoots and kills her causing the virus to take full effect (good thing he hung around long enough to feed the now reanimated zombie's growing hunger!)

So enter a couple more scientists (one of which is the zombie chicks clueless hubby) who decide to check out the cargo hold to make sure nothing has gone wrong due to all the turbulence. Hhhmmm... 2 fresh scientists.... 2 new zombies with appetites.... yup. That makes 4 zombies.

And they are all pretty damned hungry!

Result

It doesn't take long for the 4 zombies to spread the joy and soon there is a mass attack on board the flight. One by one innocent passengers are brutally attacked and eaten. This also means that one by one the human count drops, and the zombie count rises.

Luckily a few good men still stand strong against the attack, as they try to make ground contact in a desperate attempt to stop the military from blasting them out of the sky. Surely the survival of 3 or 4 humans is worth the risk of say, 100 zombies loose in an airport...... right???

Recommendation

I don't think this movie is gonna go down in the annals of history as one of the great cult classics (think The Living Dead.) There are no great one liners; the cast is weak; the zombies bursting out of the airplane floor and bathroom walls is a bit more than ridiculous, but I must confess, the blood shed is pretty damned good. I found that it actually amused me even though I caught myself rolling my eyes alot.

I think that probably goes to show that if it has zombies in it, chances are I will watch it and be glad that I did. But then again, I like these Z type B wannabes. They make me laugh.

So what do you think? Did you see it?

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Zombie Strippers: A cult classic??

You guys might remember a while back I wrote a post about Jenna Jamison and her big screen debut (well, the one that did not involve porn anyway.) I was on the fence as to whether or not I intended to watch the movie.....

......well, I watched it; and I gotta confess, I kinda liked it.

Cause & Effect

In an attempt to increase our dwindling troops in the Middle East, the government decides to "re-animate" corpses to aid the fight against our evil foes. Like all good intentions however, things go horribly wrong at the testing compound and an infected soldier manages to escape unnoticed.

He shows up at a nearby underground strip club with an impressive lineup of hot strippers headed up by none other than porn star Jenna Jamison (what a perfect place for a soon to be zombie to end up in!)

About the time Jenna is about to perform her second dance (yes, you get to see the first one) the soldier guy decides to go full blown zombie and decides that Jenna is his menu's main course.

Result

Jenna is now a zombie, and apparently it agrees with her. The crowd of sweaty, excited males goes batty for her revamped, reanimated, striptease, and when the cash runs out, resorts to writing checks as gratitude for her performance.

Her boss, played by none other than Robert Englund of Nightmare fame, is ecstatic, and doesn't even mind cleaning up the bloody mess Jenna left for him after her "dance" left her famished. After all, its a small price to pay for all the untold wealth her zombie-fied gyrations promise to rake in.

Too bad the other strippers have to go and get jealous of Jenna's increased popularity. Becoming a zombie is starting to have a certain appeal and before you can say "holy ta-ta's" more than one stripper arranges to be "turned" resulting in a lot of money, and a heck of a lot more blood shed.

Conclusion

What I found interesting about this movie is that it changes up the zombie rules, at least for the strippers. They can talk and carry on conversations; they can discern when and who not to eat (such as their boss or fellow strippers,) they feel emotion such as jealousy, and their zombie status actually serves as a type of aphrodisiac to humans. They are also exceptionally agile and quick! Twists which actually prove kind of interesting...

This movie is gory, so be prepared. I was surprised with the amount of blood an innards spilled for such a stereotyped cast. It was also very graphic. Another big surprise.

And yes, this movie is exceptionally corny. Forget cheesy; forget campy. think corny. But I liked it.

Recommendation

I realize I will probably be in the minority when I say that I can see this movie becoming a cult classic. I would not be the least bit surprised to see it having a kind of "Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town" cult following.

Will you like it? I can't say. But if you like gore, and you like really cheesy movies with gratuitous boob shots, then this movie may be for you. Just don't blame me if you watch it and don't like it.........

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“The Faculty”- Are they who you think they are?

Release Date: 25 December 1998 (USA)
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Genre: Horror / Sci-Fi / Thriller
Cast: Josh Hartnett, Jordana Brewster, Salma Hayak, Elijah Wood, & many other well knowns
Best Movie Line: "I'm not putting that hack drug up my nose - it's so 80's!"

Introduction

There are certain movies that I can watch repeatedly, recite almost verbatim, and still I do not tire of them. The Faculty is one of those movies. It's a classic B-film with most all of the required criteria even though it is delivered by what now is an A-list of actors (even R&B star Usher has a character part!)

Cause & Effect

Is something up with the water at Herrington High? It seems the faculty can't drink enough of it. Not only are they constantly thirsty, but they appear to be acting strange and out of character. Too bad most of the students are too unaware as one by one they are being "converting" as well.

Casey Conner isn't oblivious to this behavior and upon observing his schools football team at practice, finds in the field what is believed to be a new parasite on the food chain ladder of life (I don't know about you guys, but to me this has the makings of a very cool alien takeover........)

Result

A motley crew of kids team together to try and determine what is happening in their school. In looking for the parasite Casey found, they are confronted by their science teacher and ultimately discover he is possessed by some sort of alien life form. Luckily Zeke Tyler (played by Josh Hartnett) likes to dabble in his very own science lab, and has concocted an interesting cocktail that to teenagers produces an euphoric high, but they soon discover that it does not bode so favorably with aliens.

It's not long before the Scooby-type gang of misfits are fighting for their school and their own humanity as the aliens try to take over their world.

Conclusion

Think The Outsiders meets The Thing - that will give you a pretty good feel for what The Faculty is all about. The acting is every bit as worthy as The Outsiders, and the special effects are every bit as cheesy as The Thing. The translation? A very enjoyable campy ride.

Recommendation

Although this is a B-feel film, the cast is very impressive in its delivery. Elijah Wood and Josh Hartnett offer great performances, as do others. This movie may be cheesy and campy, but it does so with conviction.

This movie is definitely worthy of 3 thumbs up in my book. What do you think? Have you seen it?

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Paris Hilton: Bad Actress?

Paris Hilton: Millionaire Model and really bad actress? Or is she good??

Let's face it. Paris is Hot. Say what you want to about her - that she is a spoiled rich kid who has the world by the ass; a dumb blonde; a waste of space; untapped genius..... ok that might be a bit of a stretch, but whatever you want to say about Paris one thing remains true.... she is hot.

And insanely wealthy. What I would give just to have one day of that kind of wealth.

If I actually had the opportunity though I would probably be so dumbfounded that I would waste 22 hours of the day in a dazed stupor and the 2 hours remaining for me to enjoy the wealth would probably be spent standing in line....

So anyway, I guess you are probably asking yourself why a Blog about horror movies would have a post about Paris Hilton. Well, I will tell you.

Paris is the new B-Queen. Yup. B-Queen or Queen-B, whichever you prefer. Taking The Simple Life out of the picture, Paris owes her film reportoire to really cheesy B, ok C - film. Most of which is in the horror genre.

Although her first movie is not horror but rather "comedy," Paris' film debut in "Wishman" is not a favorite among viewers. Admittedly I have not seen it nor do I plan to even though I am a huge fan of comedies.

From there we try a thriller called "Sweetie Pie" - equally snuffed by fans, not even worth dwelling on, and so we'll progress straight to Nine Lives.

Nine Lives is a wonderful C-film starring known actors Holly Hunter, Robin Wright Penn, and not so known daughter of Sidney Poitier, Sidney Tamila Poitier. You can catch it this month on FearNet. I found it rather entertaining in an "I-love-really-bad-movies" sort of way (this quirk of mine drives my hubby insane!)

Paris plays the typical token "gorgeous rich" chick and fitting for the role, she gets killed pretty quickly. I tried to notice if her acting had improved any at the point of this movie. Sadly I noticed no improvement. She's still very much the "noob and it shows" at this stage of her career.

Several other movies and t.v. show cameos later (all of which rank horribly with the viewers) Paris ends up on House of Wax - one of my contemporary favs - and actually shows signs of progression, albeit small, in her acting ability.

In House of Wax, I actually think Paris has progressed as as actress as she demonstrates signs of competent brain activity where for but a brief moment, she gives chase to the bad guy.

Sadly, it's not enough. Paris gets slaughtered as it would not be a cheesy B movie if she didn't.

Ironically enough, I like Paris in these B movies. She offers the beauty and ditz needed to satisfactorily deliver such a film, but doesn't stay alive long enough for me to want to kill her myself.

So what does the future hold for Paris, heiress to the Hilton fortune; star of "The Simple Life" and female desired by most every hot blooded hetero-male alive? Well - another cheesy B movie. And to make matters even worse in this case, it's tagged as being a musical.

Yup - Repo! The Genetic Opera. A musical. Slated for an August '08 release. I guess Paris is feeling the need to combine her sensational singing success with her equally acclaimed acting abilities. Who could ask for more?

One thing you can never deny about Paris is that she is hot. The only other thing I would never deny about Paris is that B movies is where she belongs because with B movies, quality acting is optional.

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Cheesy B Ripoffs………

….are my favorite kind (sadly Tremors is on my list of favs). My husband cringes whenever he sees me flip to Fearnet or the SciFi channel. My flavor for giant bug type movies make him wonder why he ever married me. I have tried to explain that the fact these movies exist and continue to be made is evidence that I am not alone; there are others out there just like me. He agrees…. but he doesn’t understand.

B-movie’s - defined as low budget movies that were shown in addition to the main feature (think double feature) or any movie that ran less than 80 minutes - date back as early as the 1920’s and featured A-list actors such as Vincent Price, Bella Lugosi, and Boris Karloff. Several A-list actors of today started out on B film - actors such as John Wayne and Jack Nicholson.

In the 40’s and 50’s, as the appeal of the Golden Age-style double feature began to wane, the “B movie” term was used to refer to any low-budget genre film featuring less known performers (i.e. B actors). The term retained its earlier suggestion that such movies relied on arranged plots, "stock" character types, and simplistic action or unsophisticated comedy. At the same time, the world of the B movie was becoming increasingly appealing territory for experimentation, both serious and outlandish.

In the 1950’s, science fiction, horror, and various hybrids of the two were the primary vein of the low-budget end of the B business. Then in the 60's, due to the loosening of industry censorship constraints, a major expansion in the commercial life of several B movie subgenres evolved that came to be known collectively as “exploitation films“ - films that featured vulgar subject matter and outrageous imagery, combined with intensive and gimmick laden publicity.

The Production Code standard was officially scrapped in 1968, to be replaced by the first version of the modern movie rating system. That year, with the code gone and the adult x-rating established, major studio A films like Midnight Cowboy could now show "adult" content, and the market for increasingly hardcore pornography exploded and nudity-filled sexploitation pictures found their place on the map.

Most of the B movie production houses founded during the exploitation era of the 60's and 70's collapsed or were absorbed by larger companies as the expense of production continued to rise in the early 1980s. Even a similarily cheap, efficiently made genre picture intended for theatrical release began to cost millions of dollars, as the major movie studios steadily moved into the production of expensive genre movies. Audiences desires and expectations for spectacular action sequences and realistic special effects began to rise, fueling the expense.

Despite the rising cost of production, difficulty in theatrical distribution, and overall risk in airing these films, a substantial number of genre movies from small studios and independent filmmakers were still reaching theaters. Horror was the strongest low-budget genre of the time, especially in the "slasher" mode (i.e. The Slumber Party Massacre (1982), written by feminist author Rita Mae Brown).

As well, the video rental market was becoming central to B film economics, and a number of B studios releases went this route, appearing only briefly in theaters if at all. The growth of the cable television industry also helped support the low-budget film industry, as many B movies quickly wound up as "filler" material for 24-hour cable channels or were made expressly for that purpose.

In the 1990’s, as the average cost of making a movie topped $25M, remaining B movie companies adapted by releasing movies straight to video. Now, in the 2000’s, there is rumor of the “impending extinction" of "the cheesy, campy, guilty pleasures" of the B picture, as "the schlock of the past has evolved into star-driven, heavily publicized, expensive mediocrities…” .....however many keep the faith alive.

....As do I. I for one believe the B movie will survive at all costs as so many of us love the cheesy campy unrealistic mindlessness of naked, stupid, airheads trying to survive bug/psycho slasher/zombie bloodlust. And I look forward to watching each and every one of them.

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