Happy Tree Friends = twisted humor

I haven't been much for writing these last few days. I can't seem to get my brain to focus long enough. Old age perhaps? Anyway, I have spent some time surfing the web in hunt for kickin' zombie sites. Sites filled with blood and guts. Sites dedicated to dismemberment.

You know - cool shit.

And guess what? I found it. Them really. Happy Tree Friends.

Now don't let their name fool ya'. They may be happy, but they are anything but your friend. Great for Saturday morning cartoons but only if you have a twisted sense of humor and are not easily nauseated. Luckily, both of those criteria are a part of my genetic makeup. Probably 'cuz I was dropped on my head repeatedly as a kid.

Not a believer? Let's try one on for size:

Needless to say, this first video I saw sucked me right in like a fat kid on a candy bar. And not just one candy bar either; we are talking the whole f'n box! I had to see if they were all as captivating as this one. All as bloody. All as inventive. All as cute.

WOW! I have hit the mother load of cartoon horror! My husband is convinced there is something wrong in my noggin' for enjoying such twisted humor as this. I told him he need not be concerned; just be sure to sleep with one eye open. One can't be too safe these days.

So why not check it our for yourself? They have oodles of clips to choose from; all equally funny, all bloody, and all original.

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Resurrection Dreams

If you think Stephen King has a twisted mind, you might be interested to know that in the printed world, he's really rather tame. While Stephen King weaves a story of disbelief and macabre, he does not shock with the grotesque. Not like some.

For me, King's horror is in the visuals he paints, and of his classic story telling of how one's mind can become their own worst enemy. Of course his added elements of demonic evil and dark apocalypse certainly add to his tales, but I never stopped reading one of his books early because he over stepped the boundaries of what I enjoy reading in terms of a horror novel.

Yes, there are definitely far more twisted minds out there than Mr. King, and one of those minds belong to an author by the name of Richard Laymon. Unfortunately Mr. Laymon passed away in 2001, however several of his books have been released since that time posthumously.

Richard Laymon was an author that thrived on gore and vulgarity. Not so much vulgarity as in language, but rather in things, in horrors, that only a sociopath would inflict. I'm not quite sure why I read these type of books; probably the same reason I watch these types of movies. I'm sure some would say that it must be the sign of my a twisted mind.

Resurrection Dreams

Every school has its share of outcasts; kids that simply do not fit in. Usually we label these types as nerds, losers, weirdos, or my favorite - "motards" (that's a combination of a moron and retard... not that there's anything wrong with it .)

In Resurrection Dreams, that outcast was Melvin Dobbs. Only he wasn't just an outcast; he was weird. Real weird. As evidenced by the fact that he wanted to resurrect a dead body. So much so that for the school science fair, Melvin dug up a corpse and tried to electrocute it back to life "Frankenstein style." Unfortunately his science project didn't work. But it did work at making sure none of his classmates would ever like him, and it did work at getting him institutionalized.

Enter Vicki Chandler. She was one of Melvin's classmates who actually didn't pick on him. She even stuck up for him during one particular razing. Big mistake. HUGE even. Now Melvin is all in love with her, and we know what happens when psycho's are in love.... nothing good, that's what!

Fast forward several years - Vicki had escaped off to college only to find after some unfortunate events and really high student loans that she has no choice but to return to her home town and take up residence at the local medical clinic. Too bad Melvin is out of the loony bin and working at the local gas station. With everything being so "local" she was bound to run into him more often than she would like.

But what Vicki and the rest of the town fail to notice is that Melvin has been busy. He has graduated from experimenting on dug up corpses, to experimenting on real live females. Females he kidnaps and uses for his sick and twisted experiments. Females that end up dead.

Oh - and did I mention that ever since the day Vicki stuck up for Melvin all those years ago in high school, he has been madly in love with her? Obsessive even? Too bad Vicki didn't know that. Or else maybe she would have avoided him like the plague.

Instead Vicki decides to come back to town at about the same time Melvin gets his lucky break and successfully resurrects one of his victims. Jackpot! Now all he has to do, is lure kidnap trap invite Vicki to his his place for a little "happily forever after." He's going to need help, though, and who better to help than his newly resurrected sex starved zombies!

Richard Laymon is not for everyone, especially the wimpy types that can't handle a lot of little blood. He was very graphic, twisted, and most probably a closet pervert. You will find that the novels published prior to his demise, versus the novels published after his demise, vary in the amount of perverseness contained within the pages. Die hard Laymon fans seem to prefer the former more sexually explicit stories. I tend to be more in favor of more death and dismemberment, and would be perfectly content without the obscene narratives. I guess it's just another reason for having both vanilla and chocolate.

So if you like to read, and are not easily nauseated I would suggest you pick up one or two of Richard Laymon's books. He's almost as good as Bentley Little, and Stephen King even suggests you give him a try. It's right there on the cover. Don't believe me? Then ask Dean Koontz. He recommends Laymon on the cover, too. With all these recommendations, how can you lose?

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Bentley Little: The Association

I noticed something today.

In all my posts, not ever have I reviewed a book. And I'm not talking about Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance although there are those that would swear its the best book ever published (me not being one of them.)

I'm talking about horror novels. Novels by great authors such as Stephen King; Richard Laymon; Bentley Little. And if you want a comedic twist thrown in, then I highly suggest Christopher Moore (Bloodsucking Fiends was awesome but I will save that review for later.)

So today I want to review one of my favorite Bentley Little novels, The Association.

I probably need to preface this post with a little information about Mr. Little. For starters, his mind is definitely more warped than that of Stephen King (at least on paper) in that he likes to shock with a very intense gore factor. Now understand that Stephen King ranks as probably my favorite (I love his overly descriptive style) but he does not go overboard in entrails and dismemberment in the same manner as Bentley Little likes to do.

Secondly, Bentley Little likes to dabble in controversial subject matters which might make the reader question whether or not it's worth reading his books. I've had a couple occasion of this myself (mostly in cases of child molestation and incest) but ultimately he does rank as one of my favorites.

(It may also interest you to know that Bentley Little published his first novel The Revelation in 1990, and as a result won the Bram Stoker Award for "Best First Novel.")

Introduction to "The Association"

Anyone who has ever lived in a subdivision where a set of bylaws dictates how your home is to be maintained could probably relate to a chapter or more of this book. Yes, associations offer a clean and uniform community that can prove safer and cleaner and retain (if not improve) resale value, but does it stop there? And what of the people that make up this so called "association?" Are they looking out for your best interests, or theirs?

Brad & Maureen Welch thought they were leaving their crazy California lifestyle for a more peaceful and quiet one, but the problem with small towns is that your business soon becomes everyone else's and you never really know who you can trust.

Synopsis

It's always recommended that whenever you sign your name to any document, know what you are signing; read the fine print.

Unfortunately the Welch's missed that day in class as they soon discover that what they signed when moving into the peaceful gated community of Bonita Vista was not only an association agreement, but an agreement to abide by their rules at any cost (and I'm not just talking monetary repercussions!)

Paint your house the wrong color? Well, that might cost you a hand. Plant the wrong shrubs? Perhaps we'll take both hands for that crime. Want to dispute the association? No problem. Just know they will make your life a living hell that may not be worth living afterall....

Conclusion

As stated above, The Association is one of my favorite books. I highly recommend that if you do decide to read it, set aside the whole day as you won't want to put this book down.

Just know going in that it will be gory, it will be grotesque, and it will push the boundaries of the more "traditional" horror novel.

(Oh - and in case you are wondering, child molestation and incest are not traits of this novel so in case you have certain restrictions in your literature (as do I) know that those are not a consideration for this novel.)

The Association

Overall Rating:

Retail Price: $7.99

Amazon Price: $4.67

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