Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses

There are two things I learned while watching Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses: 1. If you wanna see a boob shot of Marilyn Monroe, watch this movie (and don't tell me it's a fake photo!! No one would EVER Photoshop Marilyn!) and 2. Don't ever trust some guy in clown paint.

Rob Zombie, founder and front man for the metal band White Zombie, made his directorial debut with the horror movie House of 1000 Corpses. It's the story of four kids, Jerry and Denise, and couple Bill and Mary, who, while on their way to visit Denise's father, happen upon "Captain Spaulding’s Museum of Monsters & Madmen" -a combination gas station and Carnival type Side Show that showcases the history of former serial killers.

Jerry could not be more excited as ironically, he is writing a book on roadside attractions. He falls into hog heaven when he learns that Captain Spaulding (played by the talented Sid Haig) has the inside scoop on Dr. Satan, a mad scientist who was obsessed with creating a new breed of humans - super humans if you will - through bizarre and grotesque surgeries performed on human subjects. Live human subjects (needless to say he failed.)

Jerry begs his friends to visit the nearby legendary Deadwood Tree, the execution site of Dr. Satan, and although Denise wants to skip visiting the tree and head straight to her father's house as planned, she is out voted, so together the foursome set out to visit Deadwood Tree.

(Probably not the smartest decision they made on their trip, but unfortunately, not the stupidest either.The stupidest decision they make is while on their way to Deadwood Tree: they pickup a hitchhiker named Baby Firefly.)

Soon the tire of their car is shot out by an unidentified man, but luckily it's not far from Baby's house. Baby (played by none other than Rob Zombie's real life bride Sheri Moon) invites them over until their car can be repaired. (Typical for B movies, the spare tire concept was apparently lost on the foursome and not factored into their travel plans. Dumb kids.)

That's when the fun really begins.

It seems the Firefly's are a family of torturous and demented freaks who like to unmercifully violate their victims. We learn they already have in their possession five missing cheerleaders, whom they have taken great pleasure in beating and abusing. We also learn that the Firefly's enjoy an occasional meal of human flesh. Too bad our foursome isn't informed of this tidbit of information before dinner.

What happens next is a sick carnival ride of blood, gore, and shock effects that only Rob Zombie could deliver (and if you watched his vision version of Halloween, you'd understand.)

I do not believe that Rob Zombie was going for a cohesive story line with this movie. Instead, I think he was aiming towards glorifying the horror classics that influenced his pension for such things, such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Evil Dead, and Last House on the Left and ff you are paying enough attention to the details of this movie, you will catch images and references to those very films. A homage of sorts.

Zombie's vision glorifies the exploitation genre, providing enough bloodshed, gore, and slasher type shock effect to satisfy just about every caliber of horror fan. That is as long as you have an open enough mind for the suspension of belief, and are not a stickler for details. But isn't that the case with most horror movies? Isn't that why we enjoy them so much? The "unbelievable" factor? At least it is the reason for me....

Although the majority of the "crimes" committed in this film have been witnessed on film before, Rob Zombie's slant is refreshing and creative, and I can only imagine what the unedited and unrated directors cut (if ever released on video) will offer. I'm guessing a whole lot more blood and guts than even I could handle, with plot and substance of course, remaining optional.

The movie wraps up with a climatic chain reaction of Denise's dad calling in the cops to go looking for her, and all of them ending up dead in a graphic manner at the Firefly's hovel. Although this is not typically the type of horror movie I add to my drawer of keepers (as his version of Halloween has) I must say that while I did not thoroughly enjoy the movie, I enjoyed it enough to say that I think it's worth watching.

....don't you?

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The Born Losers

This post isn't about a horror movie but it is about a B-movie. A B-movie featuring Tom Laughlin, the actor who placed Billy Jack on the map.

For those of you not in the know, there is a whole series of films that focuses on a "half-breed-Native-American-Green-Beret Vietnam-War-Veteran” who goes by the name of Billy Jack. (In following movies we learn he is also a hapkido master and gunslinger however it really doesn’t come into play in this one.)

Hello. My name is Petra and I am was a Billy Jack groupie.

This post isn't about the Billy Jack movies that hooked me, though. This post is about the movie that introduced me to Billy Jack, and that movie is The Born Losers, released in 1967.

During the exploitation movie era, there was a genre and SUBgenre for just about every subject imaginable. In the case of The Born Losers, that subgenre was motorcycle gangs and true to form, the gang in this movie is portrayed as unruly, defiant rebels protesting society and everything that is moral. Granted they are not given much of a chance to prove otherwise; but they also do nothing to change the stereotype. Actually, they encourage it.

Not a lot of time is wasted getting to the meat and potatoes of this gang. You see them rebel rousing in the streets and targeting some poor schmoo as the object for contact with their fists. This schmoo they target is pretty stupid in that he didn't back down when these derelict biker boys came pushing him around. Before you know it, Schmoo Boy is getting his ass handed to him orally. Several passerby’s watch yet do nothing as he begs for help and is almost killed.

Luckily Mr. Schmoo stumbles into a deli/cafe where Billy Jack just happens to be having an afternoon coffee or tea, or something. When the owner of the establishment kicks Mr. Schmoo back out to the streets so as to "avoid trouble," Billy Jack feels the need to interfere. He grabs his rifle out of his truck and proceeds to promise bad things to the bikers should they decide to keep harassing Schmoo Boy.

And wouldn't you know that Billy Jack gets busted by the cops while the bikers get off with a warning? Seems almost killing someone is ok, as long as you don't do it while waiving a gun around.

So while Billy Jack is being detained, the bikers are back to running the streets when they notice a sweet young chippy named Vicki Barrington (Elizabeth James, aka co-script writer for The Born Losers,) clad in go-go boots and big 60's sunglasses cruising along on her very own bike. Oh, and did I mention she was wearing a bikini?

Well it seems Vicki is every bit as naive as Mr. Schmoo, and doesn't back down when the bikers being to harass her. After she realizes she bit off more than she can chew, she develops a brain cell and beings to play by the bikers rules in order to self preserve. Unfortunately the result is a drug induced, multiple gang rape that leaves some girls dead, and others wishing they were dead, with Vicki being one of the latter.

The Born Losers plays out a lot like the old westerns, where a lone cowboy takes on a lawless town armed with nothing more than a gun and half a brain. Complete with rifle, cowboy hat and Indian blood running through his veins, Billy Jack appears just that, and manages to position himself as the one man army determined to take out the violent biker gang that always manages to stay an arms length away from a jail cell.

Common themes run through this movie and the following 3 Billy Jack installments: rape of innocent females, Billy Jack's "problem" with authority figures, and a gang of derelicts that Billy Jack takes on virtually unarmed and alone. Unfortunately in The Born Losers, we do not get to sample the karate moves Billy Jack is known for, but we do get to sample his determination and desire to kick thug ass. Sadly, we also get to see his ass beaten more than once, but he proves time and again that the underdog does not always lose, and that his spirit can never be broken.

Billy Jack was the second and biggest money maker in the series. Though filming of it started in 1969, the movie was not completed until 1971, as production was halted when American International Pictures pulling out of the movie. After some bouncing around between Twentieth Century Fox and Warner Brothers, distribution was still lacking, so Tom Laughlin took the movie to the theaters himself in 1971.

Billy Jack died a quick death initially, but a re-release in 1973 brought in surprisingly more than $40 million. Soon Bill Jack had a cult following, due largely in part to the films focus on the plight of Native Americans during the civil rights movement. Additionally, the movie's theme song One Tin Soldier by Coven, remains among the top 100 when the list is adjusted for inflation, and I can certainly see why. It's one of the things I remember most about the movie.

So what about you guys? Any fellow fans out there? Or is Billy Jack the epitome of cheese?

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