Clive Barker’s Midnight Meat Train

Ok, so with a name like "Midnight Meat Train" it's probably safe to assume there is going to be meat, though probably not the kind you would want to eat unless you are of the same sick and twisted caliber such as Ed Gein, or Jeffrey Dahmer.

Oh, and there will probably be blood on the Midnight Meat Train. Lots and lots of blood.

In Clive Barker's Midnight Meat Train, Leon (Bradley Cooper) is an struggling "city life" photographer who gets a career break when his girlfriend Maya (Leslie Bibb) pulls some strings and hooks him up with the renowned "art gallerist" Susan Hoff (played by none other than Brooke Shields.) Susan sees potential in Leon, and states that she will consider showcasing his work when he can bring her pictures of the "real" city. She also recommends that when Leon finds it, not to be afraid and run; rather face it, and take the picture.

Leon's first "photo shoot" starts out with a potential rape victim in the subway. Leon happens along a couple of thugs harassing a young woman, all the while silently taking photos of the attack. When the victim notices Leon from the corner of her eye, he interrupts the attack and manages to prevent things from getting messy for himself and the female target.

Upon developing the photos of the attack, Leon finds one in particular that turned out exceptionally expressive. At the urgings of his girlfriend, Leon shows the picture to Susan Hoff. She was "wowed."  So much so that if Leon can come up with two more shots, equally gritty, he can have a spot in her next showing.

"Take the picture." That was Susan's advise for capturing the darkness of the city. Too bad Leon didn't have the foresight to see that those three little words would cause such a downward spiral of his life and sanity.....

When the subway girl in the "almost attack," a famous model, ends up missing, Leon goes to the police with the photos of the attack he interrupted, citing his suspicions that the attackers in his photographs did not flee, rather doubled back after he was gone. The police aren't too concerned with him or his theories however, and suggest he should not bother to come back unless he has something more concrete to work with than theories......

Take the picture. That's all Leon needs to do. So he puts aside caution, and begins his nightly quest to find the perfect shot, the one (ones?) with more substance than theory, more darkness than light, more feeling than thought. Only Leon ends up finding more than he bargained for.

Way more.

What Leon finds is Mahogany (Vinnie Jones) a butcher by trade, who randomly "butchers" passengers taking late night rides on the subway. Of course Leon doesn't know this when he first discovers Mahogany exiting the subway in the wee hours of the morning, yet in his growing obsession with discovering the darker side of the city, Leon finds himself stalking Mahogany, night after night, looking, and waiting, for something to happen...

The subway. What is so fascinating about the subway? Leon itches to know as he photographs Mahogany repeatedly entering and leaving it's dark recesses, until soon suspicions fester, and Leon begins to piece together the photos he takes of Mahogany along with news clippings of missing people. Could Mahogany somehow be responsible? Could he be the serial killer the newspaper's have been writing about??

Well you can't have a horror movie with people making smart decisions, and this one promises to be no different. Instead of Leon cutting his losses and forgetting about the potential misdeeds taking place in the subway, he decides to change things up by actually entering the subway, and taking a late night ride on the same train as Mahogany.

It was one of the worst mistakes Leon would ever make.

With the direction of Japanese filmmaker Ryuhei Kitamura, Clive Barker's Midnight Meat Train offers more than it's fair share of bloodshed, guts, and flying body parts. The shock effects were cleverly delivered, the graphics convincingly real, and I am happy to say I saw no traces of Koolaid or creamed corn in the presentation of entrails and gore. I am however, sorry to say that I actually found myself looking between my fingers on more than one occasion, apparently losing my ability to watch someone's head become violently severed at the eyeballs. Thankfully I can still listen to it just fine, and I can assure you that the screams of Mahogany's bludgeoned victims will send chills up and down your spine.

Surprisingly (and I can't believe I am saying this) I don't want to give the ending away to Clive Barker's Midnight Meat Train as it will take you by surprise (unless of course, you have already read the book) but I would like to point out that it involves reptilian/alien type carnivores and an underground network of "partners in crime." I mention this because like most books made into movies, much is lost in the translation, and things (such as the reptilian/alien type carnivores) just don't add up. The underground network doesn't even add up although it does help to tidy things into a neat little bow. Typically convenient.

What does translate well onto film however, is the stoic demeanor of the ever silent Mahogany as he performs his nightly ritual, almost as though it were his duty. At one moment we see him so hellbent on murderous precision and delivering just that without a drop of remorse, yet the next minute, but only for a second, you see a softer side, one with apparent repulsion and possible regret. I actually found myself feeling sorry for Mahogany, but it was only for a fleeting moment, as that of his softer side.

Gruesome and chilling, Midnight Meat Train is definitely not for the faint of heart, but conversely, it may not be quite brutal enough for hardcore horror fans who relish the Saws of the world. Is it worth watching? Most definitely. Is it a keeper? Probably not. But the meat cleaver will remain in your memory banks long after the movie is over.

"Now serve, as we all do, without question......"