It's nice when you stumble across a movie that is unique in its story line. Inevitably though you find some part along the way that mimics another so its never truly totally unique. It's frustrating as I long for originality so often and just as often am let down.
Ahhh well.... at least there is still an abundance of enjoyment in the 120 give or take minutes.
Today's feature is Dark Country. A straight to DVD release, it's a movie about a guy and his new wife heading to Sedona for their honeymoon. Apparently theirs was a whirlwind romance that took place over the course of approximately 24 hours in Vegas. After watching this movie, I think the saying should more accurately state "what happens in Vegas should STAY in Vegas" but that's just my .02.
I have a question for the ladies out there and my question is this: How sweet would it be to hit a guy who has completely F'd you over where it hurts the most? And how sweet would it be to do it in a way that completely takes them by surprise and leaves them with nightmares for the rest of their lives??
Sound extreme? Perhaps. But admit that it does sound somewhat appealing and that it certainly captures your interest.....
In the 2007 movie TEETH, sweet little Dawn (Jess Weixler) is a model teen, fully intending to remain a virgin until marriage. Unfortunately the odds in maintaining that oath are stacked against her. For starters, she lives in front of a nuclear power plant (and we all know how bad those toxic fumes can be.) She lives with her ailing mom, step father, and derelict step brother. But these things do not distract Dawn from her vow, and her determination makes her a prime candidate for The Promise O -a wonderful little group in her high school that preaches purity for the surrounding sinners.
Unfortunately a new student shows up -Toby - and Dawn feels temptation at most every turn. She vows she will not grow weak. Especially since she is starting to notice an "irregularity" about herself; something almost freakish. Something known as Vagina Dentata.
What do you get when you put a no name actor is a black rubber suit and slather him in black colored oily goo? The alien in a really bad cheesy 80's flick.
What do you get when you take those 5 naked bimbos and throw them into an alien vat of watered down body lotion designed to look like alien semen so they can lather themselves up repeatedly on camera? Cheap and tawdry thrills of a really bad cheesy 80's flick.
And what do you call a really bad cheesy 80's flick with all the above ridiculous elements? You call it one of director's Tim Kincaid's contributions to the world of B movies.
People believe different things for different reasons; what is real for one may not be real for another. Do Zombies really exist? One might think with my fascination of the undead I would believe they do, but is my definition of a zombie the same as yours?
Do I think corpses literally rise from the dead only to become mindless carnivores that seek to eat living, breathing, human beings? No. Do I believe that some living people are dead on the inside and exhibit parasitic behavior by "feeding" on the lives and emotions of those around them? Yes, I do.
Do Ghosts and Demons really exist? Are the thousands of people who believe they do - claim they have seen them - all crazy? Or are their minds merely open to the possibility while the unbelievers remain closed, inhibiting their ability to see....
Do you believe in ghosts?
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Oren Peli's Paranormal Activity 2009
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Don't kid yourself into going to see Paranormal Activity thinking it's based on actual events. Though the opening credits will lead you to believe it is, it is not.
It is a fictional story created and directed by newcomer Oren Peli, much in the same fashion as that of The Blair Witch Project (and while the Blair Witch Project was made with a meager $11,000, Paranormal Activity was made with an equally meager $15,000.)
I think for someone who does not believe in ghosts or possession, Paranormal Activity is a movie they should probably skip seeing. The buildup of fear this movie creates is only effective if one has the willingness to believe in the possibility. Anything short of that makes for a boring couple of hours.
I myself have always believed in ghosts and possession. Quite frankly the possession side of it terrifies me which is why I have never been able to watch the Exorcist in its entirety. Well, either that or the crucifix thing, but my point is that I tend to stay away from serious movies involving possession. So why did I want to see Paranormal Activity? Who knows. But I am sure my willingness to believe in such things is probably going to cause me some restless (and most likely sleepless) nights for weeks to come after seeing this one. Paranormal Activity is the story of Katie (played by newcomer Katie Featherston) and Micah (played by newcomer Micah Sloat), a young couple just starting out. It seems Katie has been hearing strange noises and seeing strange things in their new home, and much to Micah's dismay, consults with a psychic for help in stopping the events. We learn Katie has had a demon trailing her rather silently since she was 8 years old, and if she wants it to remain dormant then she need not do anything to antagonize it. The psychic strongly suggests consulting an actual demonologist, which Micah adamantly refuses to do.
So for duration of the movie, Micah takes "control" of the situation by recording the events taking place in their home in an attempt to determine what it is they are dealing with. The events initially happen only at night and seem minor enough: lights flipping off and on; sounds of footsteps; doors moving and subsequently slamming, but it's not enough for Micah. He wants more than just slamming doors and he wants it on tape. Not understanding the seriousness of Katie's "haunting," Micah ignores the psychic's warnings and instigates confrontation with the unseen intruder; taunting it; daring it to be more evident. His typical male ego tells him he can handle the outcome, no matter what it is, without having to concede to an exorcism.
Unfortunately Micah's actions are not without serious consequence as the nightly recordings show Katie being physically touched, bitten, and even possessed by the entity (although the two do not acknowledge it as a possession.) The events become more frequent, happening in the daytime as well, until the unthinkable becomes the young couple's inevitable reality.
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My Opinion
. Paranormal Activity focused on all the elements that freak me out: spirits, demons, and possession. To top it off, they threw in a Ouija Board. Now anyone who has any real belief or fear in the spirit world knows the Ouija Board spells bad news. It's the ultimate portal for allowing the supernatural entrance to your world. Call me stupid, but there is no way in hell I am having one of those things in my house so some evil thing can screw with me. Why tempt fate? Sure some people have had Ouija Boards in their homes for years with no consequence, but guaranteed I would be the exception and I won't take the risk of proving myself right.
While Paranormal Activity was not laden with excessive scare tactics or even much excitement (as it is seen mostly through the lens of a video camera), the tension that builds from scene one is filled with expectation. Enough so that this viewer at least was held captive until the very (although somewhat foreseen) ending. .
The Effectiveness of Paranormal Activity
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Unfortunately Paranormal Activity wasn't wit]hhout holes and it's these little holes (namely missing video footage) that confirm that Paranormal Activity is not based on actual events, and cause the movie to lose some of its effectiveness.
The ending of the movie was probably the biggest hole and the one part of the movie that caused me to leave the theater feeling somewhat cheated. (Click on this link if you want to see what that hole is but do so only if you do not care that I will reveal the movie's ending!)
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Did I Miss Something?
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I was so pumped to see this movie. And while I am glad I did as I still found it to be a very good movie, it wasn't a great movie. I tell myself the director was aiming for a feel of reality which doesn't usually involve projectile vomit or spinning heads, and I completely respect that he held true to the realism - but something's just..... missing. I hate to say it but it just didn't scare me enough.
Maybe I will watch it again when it's released on DVD - alone in my creaky house with all the lights out late at night. I bet then I'd be so scared I'd rather pee my pants then get up to walk through the dark to the bathroom. THAT'S how I was hoping to be scared.... guess I will just have to wait and see.
So I took a "will I survive a zombie attack" quiz on Facebook. The questions threw me for a loop as they were so textbook and I have not been in school in over 15 years. I panicked, and answered the questions in the manner that I thought would be recommended by all the zombie survivor skills books I have read. Needless to say I was more than disappointed when I learned that although I was an asset to my group, I would be sorely missed.
I apparently die. The cheating fuckers.
So I took the test again. This time I did not think about the best "textbook" answer; I merely responded based on my gut instincts. Luckily - the 2nd time around - I survived to tell the story. Sadly that would not be the case IRL as we don't get 2nd chances. Especially when it comes to zombies.
And of course the ever elusive question as to what type of zombie would I ultimately have to battle continued to resound in my edible - desirable - brain. Biochemical? Voodoo? Alien? Important factors to know as the survival of each varies......
Any fan's of Twin Peaks out there? If so, you might want to check out Wes Craven's "The People Under the Stairs." It stars Everitt McGill and Wendy Robie as "Daddy" & "Mommy" - two really sick individuals who never should have been allowed to procreate.
B-movies love to use hot bodies - big boobs and tight asses. You know, the good stuff to distract you from noticing (or caring) how bad their acting is. Kinda like when Arnold Schwarzenegger was cast in Conan the Barbarian. Who better to play the buff warrior than Mr. Universe himself? Granted it was several years after being crowned the title I(and several years before mayorhood) but it was still the hot, buff champion bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Death Proof is is one of Quintin Tarantino's other great flicks that does not involve zombies. Unfortunately.
Death Proof is one half of a double feature showcasing Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike; a used up stuntman with a 100% death proof badass Chevy Nova (death proof for the driver anyway) who seems just a tad off from the norm.
