Resurrection Dreams

If you think Stephen King has a twisted mind, you might be interested to know that in the printed world, he's really rather tame. While Stephen King weaves a story of disbelief and macabre, he does not shock with the grotesque. Not like some.

For me, King's horror is in the visuals he paints, and of his classic story telling of how one's mind can become their own worst enemy. Of course his added elements of demonic evil and dark apocalypse certainly add to his tales, but I never stopped reading one of his books early because he over stepped the boundaries of what I enjoy reading in terms of a horror novel.

Yes, there are definitely far more twisted minds out there than Mr. King, and one of those minds belong to an author by the name of Richard Laymon. Unfortunately Mr. Laymon passed away in 2001, however several of his books have been released since that time posthumously.

Richard Laymon was an author that thrived on gore and vulgarity. Not so much vulgarity as in language, but rather in things, in horrors, that only a sociopath would inflict. I'm not quite sure why I read these type of books; probably the same reason I watch these types of movies. I'm sure some would say that it must be the sign of my a twisted mind.

Resurrection Dreams

Every school has its share of outcasts; kids that simply do not fit in. Usually we label these types as nerds, losers, weirdos, or my favorite - "motards" (that's a combination of a moron and retard... not that there's anything wrong with it .)

In Resurrection Dreams, that outcast was Melvin Dobbs. Only he wasn't just an outcast; he was weird. Real weird. As evidenced by the fact that he wanted to resurrect a dead body. So much so that for the school science fair, Melvin dug up a corpse and tried to electrocute it back to life "Frankenstein style." Unfortunately his science project didn't work. But it did work at making sure none of his classmates would ever like him, and it did work at getting him institutionalized.

Enter Vicki Chandler. She was one of Melvin's classmates who actually didn't pick on him. She even stuck up for him during one particular razing. Big mistake. HUGE even. Now Melvin is all in love with her, and we know what happens when psycho's are in love.... nothing good, that's what!

Fast forward several years - Vicki had escaped off to college only to find after some unfortunate events and really high student loans that she has no choice but to return to her home town and take up residence at the local medical clinic. Too bad Melvin is out of the loony bin and working at the local gas station. With everything being so "local" she was bound to run into him more often than she would like.

But what Vicki and the rest of the town fail to notice is that Melvin has been busy. He has graduated from experimenting on dug up corpses, to experimenting on real live females. Females he kidnaps and uses for his sick and twisted experiments. Females that end up dead.

Oh - and did I mention that ever since the day Vicki stuck up for Melvin all those years ago in high school, he has been madly in love with her? Obsessive even? Too bad Vicki didn't know that. Or else maybe she would have avoided him like the plague.

Instead Vicki decides to come back to town at about the same time Melvin gets his lucky break and successfully resurrects one of his victims. Jackpot! Now all he has to do, is lure kidnap trap invite Vicki to his his place for a little "happily forever after." He's going to need help, though, and who better to help than his newly resurrected sex starved zombies!

Richard Laymon is not for everyone, especially the wimpy types that can't handle a lot of little blood. He was very graphic, twisted, and most probably a closet pervert. You will find that the novels published prior to his demise, versus the novels published after his demise, vary in the amount of perverseness contained within the pages. Die hard Laymon fans seem to prefer the former more sexually explicit stories. I tend to be more in favor of more death and dismemberment, and would be perfectly content without the obscene narratives. I guess it's just another reason for having both vanilla and chocolate.

So if you like to read, and are not easily nauseated I would suggest you pick up one or two of Richard Laymon's books. He's almost as good as Bentley Little, and Stephen King even suggests you give him a try. It's right there on the cover. Don't believe me? Then ask Dean Koontz. He recommends Laymon on the cover, too. With all these recommendations, how can you lose?

Share this post!

Zombie Killers

I realized something today. Not all of you visit my blog for the content.

Some of you visit just because of my charming personality and sparkling wit. Of course it helps that I am easy on the eyes, but being as I am not one to toot my own horn, let's move along, shall we?

The point that I am making here is that by not visiting my blog for purposes of content, you are missing out on a lot of cool information about me, the real reason you came to visit in the first place. And if you don't click on the various pages, you will never know the true extent of what you are missing out on.

So I wanted to bring to you one of my pages, because it, because they, deserve their 15 minutes of fame. Ok, that might be a stretch since it will only take you about a minute to read it and not 15, but you know what I mean.

Let's not waste anymore time with idle chitchat. Here is the page of my protectors:

I am a firm believer that no home can have too much protection. Being as I have no children who can be enlisted for perimeter detail, I have utilized my dogs. Allow me to introduce them:

Killa' Kong

(full fledged chihuahua)

"King" Kong (aka Bong-hit) was best man dog at my "wedding." I use that term loosely as I opted not to have a ceremony. We had a small gathering of family and just signed our names on the dotted line.

On our honeymoon, all 3 pounds of him protected me from a bad beggar man. His bared teeth and deep throaty growl let that scraggly dude know exactly who was boss, and it was evidenced by the beggars very quick retreat.

That alone let me know that I had a killer on my hands. I was not worried about zombies. No sir'E!

Since that time, Kong has aged and added a gazillion few pounds, but he'll still take you down at the ankles. Watch out for his teeth! Take it from me, they HURT!

Killa' Bruiser

(unique dachshuahua = a dachshund/chihuahua mix)

"Bruiser" of Hearts (aka Boozer) is Kong's back up. He may not run very fast but once he gets his jaws into you there will not be any letting go! He will rip your throat out without so much as a hint of remorse.And then when Bruiser is done with you, well, he might even lick up your spilled blood as if it were a fine aged wine.

Much like zombies, Bruiser does not move very fast as his dachshund legs are somewhat bowed and stubby. This does not deter from his fierceness or dedication to protecting the home base, and I dare you to test this statement by attempting to enter the back yard. You might find yourself a bit humbled and a lot mangled.

Killa' Zoe

(true blue rat terror terrier)

Zoe (aka Zozo) is the bitch of the family (not taking me into account, of course.) She rules the roost with an iron jaw and doesn't take failure as an option. When she isn't busy keeping the other dogs butts in line, she's scaling the perimeter of our 1 acre corner lot, making sure there are no breaches without her approval. I might need to add that any breach would not meet her approval unless it's the pizza guy! I promise you though, you want her on that wall; we need her on that wall!

Don't let her 9 pound delicate frame fool you. She will no sooner rip your head off with her extremely strong under bite and piss down your neck than she will blink an eye. And if that doesn't frighten you then it should. 'Cuz she in one vicious beast in a very cute cow costume! Talk about a wolf in sheep's clothing!

Killa' Zeus

(100% corn-fed boxer bulldog)

What can I say about Zeus? Well, I probably should start by pointing out that he is 80 pounds of gentle giant and wouldn't hurt a flea. He might lick it to death, but not intentionally.

Yes, Zeus is a giant lummox who thinks love and good looks should rule the world. He is of the unfortunate belief that zombies can be saved by simply winning them over with sad puppy eyes and slobbery kisses. He tries to reinforce that belief to me every night when I get home from work, but so far I have managed to maintain the discipline of zombie killing versus zombie conversion.

Obviously we are still working on turning Zeus into a true killer, however we do not feel we should strip him of the title. He is one of the family after all, and the family that bands together, stays alive together.

So there you have it. Aside from these weapons of mass destruction, I have a couple guns, hammers, axes, gasoline, and a few other items that can be used in the fight for survival. I feel relatively safe in my corner of the world.

How 'bout you? Are you protected?

Share this post!

The Basics of Zombie Survival

You know, people make fun of me when I talk about the potential of a zombie apocalypse. They make fun because either they do not believe, or they are too afraid to entertain the possibility. I say to hell with them. Let them make fun of me because in the end, they will probably be of the un-dead variety and I will have the pleasure of the final word. For those of you not understanding what that means, it means I will get to blow their zombie heads off.

So for those of you who are more open minded, I wanted to point out some of the basics you probably already know but don’t really think about. By doing this, and reviewing it, we will be more prepared and effective when the need arises.

Hopefully it never will, but who’s to say what lays in wait for us down the road, right? So let’s not waste anymore time.

Certain weapons you will want on hand even if there is no zombie apocalypse. After all, we are a nation of thugs, pedophiles, serial killers, rapists, and God only knows what else, so do yourself a favor and stock up. Some weapons you have already though you may not realize it, such as a shower curtain rod. Especially the metal ones, versus the plastic ones. The plastic ones are probably sturdy enough to pierce a zombies head, but to do so with one repeated might weaken it. Metal ones would be a lot more durable so you might want to consider swapping them out if yours is of the plastic variety.

Other weapons you may not realize you already have are tire irons, fireplace pokers, golf clubs, ice picks; although with things like ice picks and meat thermometers you are going to have to get up close and personal to a zombie to be able to strike a stopping blow. Not a lot of people can handle that proximity and the added risk for becoming an un-dead. Not to mention you have to be a really good aim to work this close up. It's important that you know your limitations, and arrange to protect yourself in spite of them.

Weapons you might find in your shed or garage would include weed whackers and lawn mowers (if you don't believe me on that one, just watch Dead Alive. You will never look at your lawn mower the same way again, I promise you!) The problem these two items pose are either a. they run out of gas, or b. you have to plug it in and your range of effectiveness is limited to the length of cord the "weapon" is equipped with.

I would highly suggest that now, before the worst has happened, that you take stock of what is in your home that could prove to be effective against a zombie. A large umbrella perhaps; a hockey stick; a ski pole; a baseball bat. If you are like me, you have a lot more crap weapons laying around than you realized.

I myself am a firm believer in guns, and have made it a point to frequent the shooting range on a regular basis. I didn't start out with the intention of zombie annihilation; I started out as an 18 year old hot confident female living on my own in the po-dunk town of Disgusta, Georgia. That alone was reason enough to arm myself, and if you ever lived here you would understand.

As time passed however, I realized that understanding and respect for a gun would not only protect me from criminals and rapists, but be advantageous in the war against the un-dead!

Whether you are a republican or not, you have to see how greatly your chances improve when you are properly and knowledgeably armed. Shooting a gun is way different from knowing how to shoot a gun. One gets the bad guy killed, the other gets you killed.

You will also want to make sure you are adequately stocked in the food department. Now bear in mind you might not be able to cook or even have electricity so you will want to make sure the food you have for emergencies can be eaten raw, or right out of the can (BONUS! I now You now have an excuse to eat Vienna Sausages and not get picked on for it!) And make sure your supply is sufficient to last a couple weeks. You never know how long it will be before you can venture out to restock supplies.

Another item you won't think about straight away but really need to make sure you have plenty of is water. I wouldn't suggest you load up on milk cartons of water and leave them sitting in your garage until they become handy as unfavorable bacteria and things of the like can build up and contaminate your supply. No need for added problems, however I would suggest that you keep empty containers readily available so at the first sign of trouble, you can stock up and be ready for it.

Now if you are anything like me, you are probably thinking you need to make sure you are stocked up on booze. While I completely agree that in times of trouble, nothing soothes like a good glass of vino, or an ice cold amber beer, but that is not even close to being realistic in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

For starters, you, we, need to be coherent and have all of our faculties alert. Although booze would be strongly craved by me some of us, it would not be conducive to survival. As well, diet Pepsi soda would not be a good staple drink as it tends to dehydrate a person, and that could prove to be very detrimental as well.

Something else you want to make certain you have on hand is a really good first aid kit. I'm not talking about those 1.99 specials you find at Wally World either. I am taking about a real first aid like the military would use. You'll want a full first aid kit. Make sure it includes a sufficient supply of bandages, antiseptic cream or spray, burn ointment, rubbing alcohol, and gauze. You will also want basic pain pills, bug spray, bean-o.... just make sure you have whatever it takes to squelch any odd ailments you might suffer from. The last thing you need when being hunted by zombies to get an attack of the shits. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's life. Deal with it and prepare for it.

You will want to make sure you develop your cardiovascular health in addition to your stregnth. Some of you may be opposed to exercise, feeling it's more important to develop the mind. That's all well and good but I can promise you the last thing you want is to be too winded to run away from a gaggle of zombies, or too weak to drive a shower curtain rod through their stinking un-dead brain. I am also pretty sure you do not want to be the one, bitten and bloody and turning, with regret that you didn't use that treadmill sitting in the corner of your room. Or that you took the elevator when the stairs were just as assessable.

You might be thinking that you are in the clear because even though you don't exercise, you have a car or a motorcycle. Well, let's look at the obvious, shall we?

Firstly, cars and motorcycles make lots of noise. That's a homing beacon to zombies. Secondly, cars and motorcycles will run out of gas, and then where will you be when the only pump you can access is surrounded by brain sucking zombies? Won't happen to you, you say? Well I say why tempt fate?

And thirdly, with everyone wanting to flee the apocalypse in their vehicles, there is bound to be accidents and mayhem resulting in traffic jams, accidents, and damned rubber neckers not understanding the urgency of expediency thereby ensuring their demise, which could in turn, mean your demise.

As for potential survivors you might meet in your flight, demand that they strip down past their skivvies to make sure there are no hidden bites they don't want to tell you about. If they refuse, kick their soon to be zombie ass out of there. If they agree, for god's sake, don't take this opportunity to have a free for all love fest. Stay focused people!!!!!

And for you woos-bags out there, you gotta sack up! Know that if your loved ones, be it your friends, girl/boy friends, spouses, brats kids, parents..... whoever it is..... if they are biten they will turn! It's not optional and it's not curable, so sack up and leave them behind to suffer the fate of being a murdering flesh eater. Of course, if you are a cold hearted bitch/bastard strong person who does not want their loved ones to suffer such horrific fate, then put a bullet in their brain. Just make the first shot count so you don't waste valuable ammunition.

As stated previously, this is simply the basics. I have other valuable learning tools noted here and here, and there is still so much more not yet written but I am working on it. Hopefully I will have us all adequately prepared before that dastardly day ever comes.....

Until then, be sure to check back in. Some people may be too afraid to talk about the potential of a zombie apocalypse, either due to fear of a straight jacket and padded cell, or the fear of the possibility. Either way, you only have to read about it on my blog, and I won't tell a soul you stopped by......

Share this post!

Boy Eats Girl

I have never been a huge fan of foreign films, although when it comes to horror I am a little more open minded, as with Shaun of the Dead, which I liked almost immediately, and Dead Alive, which took a little more time to like (I had to get past the accents.) Not that I am opposed to accents, but rather the sense of humor found in foreign films is not quite on the same plane as mine, meaning either I am too dense to "get it" or it’s too Monty Python (which I can’t stand.)

Probably it's both.

So it turns out that Boy Eats Girl is a little Irish nugget of gold, and my only disappointment is that I did not discover it sooner. This movie wonderfully adds a comedic twist to what is a horrific situation, and I find that combination to be very entertaining. Plus the movies primary focus is zombies and who could ask for more than that??

Boy Eats Girl starts out with heartbroken Nathan (admirably played by some guy named David Leon whom I have never heard of) who, due to an unfortunate chain of events that even Shakespeare would have been pleased with, manages to get himself hung by the short end of a noose he just happened to have hanging in his room. Talk about bad luck (I wonder if we're related?)

As it turns out, Nathan’s mom (who played a big role in his getting hanged, by the way) just happens to work at a church whose library just happens to have a book on Haitian voodoo that she just happened to swipe sometime earlier (the sinner!) that just happens to explain how to bring a person back from the dead! Needless to say she wastes no time in putting this book to good use.

Well to everyone’s mom’s delight, Nathan wakes up the next day appearing normal and ready to face yet another day with his broken heart (because he thinks the girl of his dreams is doing some other guy) and wounded pride for not being a good rugby player. Now if only he could make the sandpaper feeling in his throat go away……

Later that night at a classmates party, Nathan temporarily loses control of his senses and hauls off and bites the school bully, rugby king Samson. Well, maybe bite isn’t the proper verbiage to use. What Nathan actually did was violently rip out a hunk of Samson’s cheek with his teeth! Yikes!

Well in shock and denial of what he had done, Nathan runs off home with his tail between his legs while Samson, now turned zombie, decides to go on an eating spree of all those readily available teenagers, who in turn, waste no time in sharing the infection love with others. In a matter of hours they achieve sheer pandemonium!

Yeh, it was pretty awesome to watch....

Although Boy Eats Girl is not laden with guts and dismemberment, there is a substantial amount of bloodshed that I found sufficient to satisfy my tastes once the movie got under way. Unfortunately however, the writers completely ignored the rules of zombie-ism, and that my friends, is not cool.

For starters, one does not have to be killed in order to become a zombie, one simply has to be infected - either by a bite or fluid exchange; you get the idea. I don't know about you guys, but I want my zombies un-dead... not un-alive!

Secondly these zombies are fast! WTF??? When did fast zombies become a criteria for Hollywood? Movie after movie keeps portraying them as fast... I guess I might as well get used to the idea, but no one said I had to like it!

Thirdly is that the zombies are easily killed. You don't have to deliver a head shot or severing of the spine. Of course head shots and severings help, but you can also sucker punch them, or run them over and be just as effective. It kinda takes the scare factor out of it when you think about it.

But you wanna know something? I could deal with all these zombie screwups. After all, this movie was fun and campy and cheesy, and even if the zombies were a bit unorthodox, they were still zombies. And that was a good thing.

But what wasn't a good thing is the part I haven't told you yet; the part where the zombie state could be reversed. Appalling, I know but it gets even worse. The way to reverse zombie-ism is with a bite from a specific snake, and wouldn't you know it's a snake that Nathan's mom just happened to have penned up at the church! Talk about crazy luck!

While the two main characters did not produce the memorable star crossed lovers that great literature is made of, the supporting cast at least delivers great bubblegum laughs that are definitely note worthy. First you have Nathan's two bumbling loser friends who are too dense to realize they are losers (much like the knuckleheads in Idle Hands) and the school tramp hottie who does whatever it takes to get the man she wants. She's a bitch - and she makes sure you know it.

So... aside from a few weak spots, Boy Eats Girl was really entertaining. You have to take into account that in addition to my fetish for zombies, I love teenage fluff movies and this one seems to be a happy blending of the two. If that is your cup of goo tea, then you will enjoy this one as well. If not.... well.... watch it anyway, cuz zombies rule!

Share this post!

Gotta have that zombie!

So the gang over at Internal Bleeding are doing a way cool giveaway. One that I simply must win and I don't care if they have to rig it, damnit! Just make it happen!

So as I was saying, the giveaway over at Internal Bleeding is for a very cool, unique and coveted (by more people than just me, I assure you) zombie FIGURE (I was promptly corrected when I referred to it as a doll, as it is NOT a doll.)

This zombie is an exclusive, limited 12-inch FIGURE from Sideshow Collectibles "The Dead" series. It is Subject 138: The Street Profit. He features the following:

• All new zombie portrait and 'hands'
• Fully articulated standard Art S. Buck male body with 30+ points of articulation
• Shirt, Pants, & Shoes
• Military jacket
• Cigarettes
• Vodka
• 'THE END IS NEAR' warning sign
• Gnawed leg
• 12" figure display stand with a print of 'The Dead' logo

How f'n cool is that??? I can' tell you how happy I am Internal Bleeding hooked me up with them! Now I just have to figure out how to convince my hubby I need one of this bad boys!

You guys stand a chance to win this though, as long as you don't disqualify yourself as I did. Be sure to read the rules before posting your submission. I see a lot of comments that do not meet the criteria so PAY ATTENTION!

And if you win the zombie, I'll tell you where to send it to me!

So what are you waiting for???

Share this post!

Diary of the Dead

George A Romero is another one of my favorite directors. He has a fetish for zombies much like I do, and that usually translates to a good film.

I confess I have been hesitant to watch Diary of the Dead. The whole "film within a film" aspect is a bit tiresome to me and not very effective. While I did enjoy Cloverfield which also used the same gimmick, I did not enjoy the Blair Witch Project, the movie that really put the concept on the map. It makes me feel like I keep trying to look behind my head without moving it; I can see things in my peripheral, but they never completely come into focus. I didn't let it stop me, though, and I was happy to see that the Diary of the Dead distracted me with bloodshed and mayhem almost from the word go.

The movie starts out with college boy Jason directing a mummy movie (conveniently titled "The Death of Death") in the woods of Pennsylvania. He has very specific ideas about how the dead should "act" and makes no qualms about telling his subordinates how to deliver the part. It's about this time they hear on their radio urgent news reports of the walking dead and heed the advise to take cover as quick as possible.

What started out as such an ordinary day turns brutal in a matter of hours, and soon the crew find themselves using their RV as a weapon against a multitude of zombies, running them through and over, littering the streets in bloody body parts. Unfortunately it's not without consequence, and the RV's driver not being able to withstand the devastating realization of what they had just done puts a bullet to her head.

Now I think this is a perfect time to tell you guys that if you are being chased by zombies and for whatever reason decide to take you own life, make sure you do it right the first time. Cuz I gotta tell ya, if you don't do it right, you will come back as a zombie. Now if that's your thing, then great. Have at it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

So now we have zombies at every turn, a half dead chick on our hands (cuz she didn't do it right) and a wannabe director who decides that he needs to film all of these events for posterity as a documentary for others to watch and learn from (hence the "film in a film.") What I liked about this one though, is that not every shot was through his camera's lens, so if I did start to feel a little dizzy by the tunnel vision it caused, I was given a reprieve in between shots.

If you know anything at all about horror, then you know that a hospital is probably the last place you want to be, especially when you are dealing with zombies. These kids apparently have never read my blog and opted instead to take dying girl to the local hospital. Needless to say, it was not a smart plan. Things get really brutal at this point, and one by one, the crew ends up undead dead.

Throughout the entire movie, Jason's girlfriend is recapping the events of their horrific ordeal, continuing their testimony where Jason left off. It's immediately obvious that the zombie invasion was unexpected (to say the least,) fast, and devastating. They, like almost every other photographer, videographer, and youtuber not yet un-dead, have made it a mission to transmit the deadly events via internet and tv, to educate and warn those who may not realize the imminent apocalypse was upon them. So people would not forget.

Diary of the Dead was not designed for the action as found in 2004's Dawn of Dead; instead it focuses on the symbolism of us, the living, feeding off of them, the un-dead. I didn't feel the depth I think Romero was going for, but then again, I don't watch zombie movies for depth; I watch them for bloodshed and gore and people getting eaten.

While the action may not be plentiful, the blood certainly is. The graphics were very well executed and well paced for my tastes, not to mention the survivors got a bit creative in their weapon choices. Definite food for thought for any apocalypse we might actually endure in the coming months years.

While I would recommend any zombie fan to watch this movie (how could you call yourself a zombie fan and not watch this movie?) I don't think it will go down as one of the top 10, or even 20 in the genre. With the progression of CGI effects, complex story lines, and fresh meat upcoming eager directors, I think there needs to be a lot more substance to sink our teeth into (and by that I do not mean guts and dismemberment) in addition to hidden meaning and symbolism.

The movie ends as it should, with no real winners and no real end in sight, other than to show what our world inevitably becomes. The last scene is two jethros hillbillies rednecks hunters, out for a good time killing zombies. Their target is a female zombie, hanging by her hair from a tree, and they blow her to smithereens.

The result for me was the sad realization of what our world could easily become in the aftermath, how barbaric we as people could become. How we would have to become in order to survive. I actually found myself feeling sorry for the female zombie, as she was a victim long before she became a victimizer.

If nothing else, this movie makes you think, provided you are of the open mind to consider such things. And if not zombies, then substitute them for say, terrorists, or guerillas. Think in terms of Red Dawn, a absolutely fantastic movie that has nothing to do with zombies.

I’m not sure if I have the sack to blow someone’s brains out, even if they are the walking dead. Of course I would have no qualms about blowing some stinkin’ zombies brains out…..

… but would you?

Share this post!

The Creeps come out at night…

If you make it past the first 5 minutes where the "aliens" are setting up the plot, you might get a good chuckle or two out of Night of the Creeps. The problem with the beginning is that these aliens are obviously little midget people in fat suits running around in a manner that implies they might be searching for the short bus. There is dissension among their ranks, and just before it gets bloody, one of the aliens expels something that looks like a pod from the bowels of the ship. Hhhhmmm......

Break away to 1952. Two college kids are out parking. (Do kids even do that these days?) Typical for B-movie needs, the guy takes off into the woods for a leak. In his absence the chick in the convertible car gets visited by an escaped psycho who axes her to death. While this is happening, the guy in the woods stumbles upon where the alien pod landed. We learn the thing that the alien was carrying is some slug like creature that breaks out of the pod and propels itself into the mouth of the guy.

Fast forward to 1986. Big hair; bad clothes; great music..... ahhhh the memories.......

Here we have college kids trying to fit in and trying to get laid, picking on nerdy kids, and providing gratuitous boob shots that have become a staple of B-movie worthiness. The acting was laughable, the cast was mostly no name actors, the script was so obviously memorized.... all in all, this was turning out to be a GREAT movie!

We see the main boob character, Chris, taking a shine to sorority girl Cindy, who tries to win her over by pledging to a fraternity. His mission? Steal a body from the morgue and leave it at a designated spot on campus.

Now apparently the dude from 1952, the one with the alien slug in his body, was cryogenically frozen and being kept unsafely locked away at said morgue, so when smart boy Chris and his buddy CJ end up unfreezing said dude (hey - it's a body, right?) they discover he isn't really "dead" and run away like the scared little sissies they were. In a matter of a minute, 1952 dude slug-infects the dumb science guy who had him unsafely locked away, then wanders out into the night to wreck more havoc on the town.

Before you know it, the campus is overrun with zombie-inducing slugs and it doesn't take long for them to connect with bodies. Frat bodies. The used up cop on the case, ironically the same cop on the case from 1952, announces their arrival with a classic one liner: "Girls, the good news is that your dates are here. The bad news is that they are all dead!"

Who could have predicted that this movie would turn out to be such a gem? Writer/director Fred Dekker is to thank for this masterpeice, and this movie isn't his only nugget of delight. He actually has a small number of them to his credit.

Things to know about this film ahead of time however (so you on't be disappointed when you see it) are the following:

• The zombies in this film don't eat people. They spew out those damned slug things into your mouth.
• You never find out why the 1952 guy was cryogenically frozen, or if the government ever knew about the slugs or pod or any of it.

Like so many movies I watch, this one is not for everyone. But if you enjoyed Shaun of the Dead or Idle Hands, you will probably love this one every bit as much as I did. Even if the zombies don't eat the nerdy cool kids.

Share this post!

2008 Day of the Dead

More often than not, if George A. Romero wrote it, chances are I'm going to like it. Granted I have not seen all his work and some of what I have seen I don't remember (please don't ask.) But he rarely, if ever, disappoints.

I had an opportunity to snag Day of the Dead, the 2008 version, for about 6 bucks recently, so based on the cost of rentals these days, I bit on the offer. I realize it's not the 1985 Romero version, but it is based loosely on the same, plus Ving Rhames and Mena Suvari are in it, so I figured it had to have promise. As I've stated so many times before, if it's got zombies in it, most likely I will like it.

This version was directed by Steve Miner, director of one of my favorite Halloween movies, H2O, as well as Friday the 13th numbers 2 & 3. That right there was an added bonus, and I can tell you I was a happy camper to have a new zombie movie for the weekend!

Now remember, this movie is not a remake of Romero's, but he is given credit as one of the writers. You would think they'd give it a different name, but hey - it worked for the Evil Dead 1 & 2, so who's to say it can't work for this one, right?

Day of the Dead 2008 "Pros"

The action. Five minutes into the movie we have our first victim, fallen prey to an unseen assailant. Another 15 minutes (give or take) into the movie and the action really begins at the local hospital where about half of the towns population shows up for treatment of various "ailments."

Soon it's every person for themselves when the sick transform and begin to attack the healthy (picture piranhas attacking chum tossed into their tank.) Quicker than you can say Eeeewww!! undead people are attacking living people and ripping off body parts with their teeth in a glorious blood fest! WOW! Talk about sheer pandemonium!

Oh yeh, this is definitely my kind of movie!

Bud. Bud is a GI who has developed quite a crush on Sarah (played by Mena Survari) but sadly gets bitten by a zombie. Soon after he himself is an undead, yet Sarah keeps him around because "he listens to orders."

Now on the surface one might think it's a bit odd to keep a zombie close at hand, but what we find out about Bud is that he actually protects Sarah from other zombies. How cool is that? It's like she's got her very own Fido who will love and protect her no matter what!

The graphics. Ripping flesh and blood spewage was so believably executed that I found myself peeking through my fingers on occasion or two. And that's not something I do very often! (ok, so it might have been the tequila, but that's a whole 'nother story.)

Day of the Dead 2008 "Cons"

Ving Rhames undead. Ving Rhames is such a strong actor.....well, I think he's a strong actor. And they turned him into a zombie at about the 30 minute mark! What the f***?? Apparently the director didn't want to be compared to Dawn of the Dead. Oh well, Ving as a legless zombie was pretty cool. I wouldn't want to piss him off, that's for damned sure!

Zombie Traits. Ok. Everyone knows that zombies possess certain characteristics. Modify them slightly from movie to movie, but to change them up completely just throws everything off balance, and that is just what this movie did.

This movie had zombies running at high speeds; performing acrobatic acts; and lastly, but certainly not least, this movie gave zombies the ability to have CHOICE! Again I have to ask... what the f***?? Anyone with half a brain knows that zombies do not think! They crave. And what they crave is eating brains!

And what the hell is up with zombies running at high speeds? How the hell are those of us with half a brain supposed to get away with f'n zombies running faster than us? I may as well roll over and play dead at that point.

So anyway, I have to say this is one zombie movie I can watch over and over. It has most of the standard B movie criteria (well, except for the gratuitous boob shot) which in layman terms, means I love it.

I'm starting to see a trend with me and bad movies. Maybe what my husband has been saying all these years is right.... maybe I am the uber dork!

Nah.

Share this post!