C.H.U.D

B-movies. Who doesn’t love them? With their D-list actors delivering solid B characters, and a cheese factor that would make any wine lover drool…. Who cares if the story line is unrealistic and downright ridiculous? I for one don’t; I enjoy the hell out of it!

C.H.U.D., a wonderful lil' gem considered a cult classic from 1984, starts out just almost like every other horror movie of the 70’s and 80’s, offering up a victim within the first five minutes. Here we see a woman walking her puppy through the desolate alleys of Manhattan, New York get pulled into a manhole by some unseen foe and whisked away to the city's underbelly below. And just as quickly as the attack happens, it’s over and the streets are once again seemingly deserted.

The key players we meet are:

• George Cooper (played by the not so unknown John Heard) a fashion photographer who ironically won an award for a photojournalism piece he wrote on the “Mole People” of New York, homeless people that reside in the city’s underground recesses. It seems the chick in the opening abduction was his wife, and now he is investigating her disappearance, as well as others.

• “The Reverend” aka A. J. Sheppard (Daniel Stern) a somewhat hippy-fied fellow who mans a soup kitchen out of his quickly deteriorating row house, where he feeds the Mole People on a regular basis.

• Murphy (J. C. Quinn) a freelance reporter that is starting to suspect “something strange is happening under our city streets.”

Individually these characters are kind of lame. Put them together however and they sort of feed off of each other (for lack of better verbiage) resulting in a pretty entertaining flick. Plus they become “smarter” (and I use that term loosely.)

Now see if you can follow along 'cuz it gets a little "complex" even for a B movie:
Cooper gets called down to the station by a Mole person, to bail her out for trying to steal a gun. It seems she wanted this gun for her brother Victor, who apparently needs the gun for protection against some "Ugly Fuckers." Wanting to talk to Victor about this, Cooper accompanies the sister to her underground paradise, only to find Victor definitely did need protection from the "Ugly Fuckers" when he was shown that a massive chunk of Victor's leg had been gnawed off by those same "ugly fuckers!" Being the professional photographer he was, Cooper wasted no time in taking a series of rather graphic impressive stills as evidence!

So for various reasons I won't divulge, Sheppard steals borrows these photos from Cooper's place and uses them, along with some other damning evidence he found underground, as leverage at a meeting he has arranged with the chief of the NYPD, the commissioner of NYPD, and another fellow by the name of Mr. Wilson from the NRC (the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.) It is at this meeting that he learns of a scandal where the NRC had tried to dispose of toxic waste by transporting it though Manhattan's sewer and subway tunnels. Unfortunately they were shut down by the city halfway through the process, which resulted in the underground being a giant dumping spot for this radioactive filth!

Well needless to say, the chief, the commissioner, and Wilson vehemently deny that this tonnage of filth has anything at all to do with the disappearances of so many homeless, and balk at the concept of the "ugly fuckers." In a snowball chain of events however, we learn of “C.H.U.D.” - a Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller, and the cops have just found one!! (Translation: C.H.U.D.'s are bums who have been severely mutated by the toxic filth and the cops just found a dead one! Ugh.)

Now you might be wondering what a C.H.U.D. looks like, and I'd have to tell you - pretty "fucking ugly!" Up close they look like Freddy Kruger would if he were oozing in between all those exposed tendons and veins. Plus they have these really creepy glowing eyes, and they bleed green gelatinous blood. Yuck! But from a distance, they look like some guy in a pretty lame Halloween costume. It's really rather sad how up close the graphics are pretty damned good but from far away, they are so laughable.

So anyway, with the underground running out of food for the C.H.U.D.'s, they begin to hunt above ground. This is a great scene because here we have a very young John Goodman and equally young Jay Thomas playing roles as goofy cops in a diner that end up being the meal instead of getting a meal.

The movie climaxes with a team from the NRC and a couple flame throwing cops, setting out to put a stop to the C.H.U.D.'s once and for all, but they prove to be rather ineffective. What will they do? Can the city be saved from the increasingly multiplying and carnivorous C.H.U.D's? Well... you are just gonna have to watch it to find out.

In true tradition of a classic B-movie, this one is really... well.... stupid. but admitted a classic in the B genre, therefore expected. The relatively no name actors perform remarkably well however, and even though you might find yourself occasionally shaking your head in utter disbelief (versus sheer disbelief) these moments are core criteria for B-films, and you would not be left with the same impression without them.

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Diary of the Dead

George A Romero is another one of my favorite directors. He has a fetish for zombies much like I do, and that usually translates to a good film.

I confess I have been hesitant to watch Diary of the Dead. The whole "film within a film" aspect is a bit tiresome to me and not very effective. While I did enjoy Cloverfield which also used the same gimmick, I did not enjoy the Blair Witch Project, the movie that really put the concept on the map. It makes me feel like I keep trying to look behind my head without moving it; I can see things in my peripheral, but they never completely come into focus. I didn't let it stop me, though, and I was happy to see that the Diary of the Dead distracted me with bloodshed and mayhem almost from the word go.

The movie starts out with college boy Jason directing a mummy movie (conveniently titled "The Death of Death") in the woods of Pennsylvania. He has very specific ideas about how the dead should "act" and makes no qualms about telling his subordinates how to deliver the part. It's about this time they hear on their radio urgent news reports of the walking dead and heed the advise to take cover as quick as possible.

What started out as such an ordinary day turns brutal in a matter of hours, and soon the crew find themselves using their RV as a weapon against a multitude of zombies, running them through and over, littering the streets in bloody body parts. Unfortunately it's not without consequence, and the RV's driver not being able to withstand the devastating realization of what they had just done puts a bullet to her head.

Now I think this is a perfect time to tell you guys that if you are being chased by zombies and for whatever reason decide to take you own life, make sure you do it right the first time. Cuz I gotta tell ya, if you don't do it right, you will come back as a zombie. Now if that's your thing, then great. Have at it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

So now we have zombies at every turn, a half dead chick on our hands (cuz she didn't do it right) and a wannabe director who decides that he needs to film all of these events for posterity as a documentary for others to watch and learn from (hence the "film in a film.") What I liked about this one though, is that not every shot was through his camera's lens, so if I did start to feel a little dizzy by the tunnel vision it caused, I was given a reprieve in between shots.

If you know anything at all about horror, then you know that a hospital is probably the last place you want to be, especially when you are dealing with zombies. These kids apparently have never read my blog and opted instead to take dying girl to the local hospital. Needless to say, it was not a smart plan. Things get really brutal at this point, and one by one, the crew ends up undead dead.

Throughout the entire movie, Jason's girlfriend is recapping the events of their horrific ordeal, continuing their testimony where Jason left off. It's immediately obvious that the zombie invasion was unexpected (to say the least,) fast, and devastating. They, like almost every other photographer, videographer, and youtuber not yet un-dead, have made it a mission to transmit the deadly events via internet and tv, to educate and warn those who may not realize the imminent apocalypse was upon them. So people would not forget.

Diary of the Dead was not designed for the action as found in 2004's Dawn of Dead; instead it focuses on the symbolism of us, the living, feeding off of them, the un-dead. I didn't feel the depth I think Romero was going for, but then again, I don't watch zombie movies for depth; I watch them for bloodshed and gore and people getting eaten.

While the action may not be plentiful, the blood certainly is. The graphics were very well executed and well paced for my tastes, not to mention the survivors got a bit creative in their weapon choices. Definite food for thought for any apocalypse we might actually endure in the coming months years.

While I would recommend any zombie fan to watch this movie (how could you call yourself a zombie fan and not watch this movie?) I don't think it will go down as one of the top 10, or even 20 in the genre. With the progression of CGI effects, complex story lines, and fresh meat upcoming eager directors, I think there needs to be a lot more substance to sink our teeth into (and by that I do not mean guts and dismemberment) in addition to hidden meaning and symbolism.

The movie ends as it should, with no real winners and no real end in sight, other than to show what our world inevitably becomes. The last scene is two jethros hillbillies rednecks hunters, out for a good time killing zombies. Their target is a female zombie, hanging by her hair from a tree, and they blow her to smithereens.

The result for me was the sad realization of what our world could easily become in the aftermath, how barbaric we as people could become. How we would have to become in order to survive. I actually found myself feeling sorry for the female zombie, as she was a victim long before she became a victimizer.

If nothing else, this movie makes you think, provided you are of the open mind to consider such things. And if not zombies, then substitute them for say, terrorists, or guerillas. Think in terms of Red Dawn, a absolutely fantastic movie that has nothing to do with zombies.

I’m not sure if I have the sack to blow someone’s brains out, even if they are the walking dead. Of course I would have no qualms about blowing some stinkin’ zombies brains out…..

… but would you?

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Texas Chainsaw IV (cuz 3 wasn’t enough!)

Back in 1994 a couple of no name actors decided to hook up with an equally no name low budget writer (Kim Henkel) who decided to make his directorial debut with yet another installment in the Chainsaw series. I might also add that this debut was his ONLY directorial effort.

Never heard of him? Neither have I. But I have heard of the two no name actors in this installment: Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger. Talk about an odd combination!

So the movie starts out with some kids at prom: geeky Jenny (played by Renee), her boyfriend Sean, not geeky Heather, and Heather's boyfriend Barry. When Heather catches Barry cheating on her, she grabs Jenny and Sean and together they take off in Barry's car. Well Barry goes running after them, ends up getting in the car, argues with Heather, and collectively they manage to get into two separate car accidents. The second of which leaves them stranded late at night in the Texas wilderness.

Talk about a set up! Wrecked car, sex starved kids, woods, night.... hhhmmm.... the only thing missing is a psychopath!

Enter psychopath tow truck driver Vilmer, played by none other than Matthew McConaughey. Naturally I was gaa-gaa when I saw him, even though they had equipped him with a gimp leg that had some type of mechanical contraption thingy attached to it - he still looked hot! (At least, up until he killed his first victim!)

So in keeping with the required criteria, the kids split up. Sean stays with the car, Heather and Barry end up running after another car, and Jenny kind of stands around looking for some sort of portal that will take her back to Kansas.

Problem is, Kansas can't be seen from Texas, and poor little wandering Jenny finally gets picked up by Vilmer. His sparkling (I use that term loosely) personality does nothing to dissuade her from getting into his truck where she soon finds out the dead body of her boyfriend is being temporarily stored!

YIKES!

There's not a whole lot of deep dialog in this movie (it's not a B-movie requirement, ya' know) but there is a hell of alot of yelling. Mostly by Jenny, Vilmer, and the chainsaw wielding Leatherface. There is also some really classic B-moves that I feel need to be pointed out:

• Jenny climbs UP to get away from Leatherface. And by "up" I mean to the top of the antennae on the roof! DUH! Am I the only one who sees this as being a potentially bad move??

• After being almost filleted by Leatherface, tortured by Vilmer, and witness to some really twisted shit, Jenny gets into a limo with the first guy that asks her to. Hmmmm..... wonder if there is another psycho in that there car??

• When Vilmer goes extra wacko and starts cutting various parts of his body open, he doesn't gush blood. As a matter of fact, in a matter of a minute, he wounds are nothing more than mere scratches. Super human healing powers! Cool!

• When Jenny hooks up with some grandma and grandpa in an RV towards the end of the movie, they wreck, and no one bothers to see if they lived, died, or decided to go out for a bite to eat.....

I am sure there are more but these are what stick out in my mind at the moment. That, and the fact that nobody gets eaten in this movie. As a matter of fact, dinner was take out pizza! WTF??? It's supposed to be a family of redneck cannibals, and what we get instead is some guy who is convinced people from another planet are spying on him. LAME! (But in a very entertainingly cheesy sort of way.)

Anyway, almost everybody gets diced up, as they should in movies such as this, so be sure not to form any special "you had me at hello" attachment to any of the key players. Though there isn't a tremendous amount of bloodshed or gore, there is certainly enough mayhem to keep you entertained throughout. The movie starts up with a bang, and continues to hold it til the last breath is drawn.

This was the first real role in film for both actors, and it's obvious their careers did not suffer because of it. Not everyone enjoys really cool movies such as this (not like I do, anyway) so both Matt and Renee opted for a movie career path with more substance. Luckily there are a bunch more no name, no talent actors where they came from!

Unfortunately this was the last of the Chainsaw installments, though a couple of them were remade. This movie makes it official that I basically like them all. What about you? Have you seen it?

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The Creeps come out at night…

If you make it past the first 5 minutes where the "aliens" are setting up the plot, you might get a good chuckle or two out of Night of the Creeps. The problem with the beginning is that these aliens are obviously little midget people in fat suits running around in a manner that implies they might be searching for the short bus. There is dissension among their ranks, and just before it gets bloody, one of the aliens expels something that looks like a pod from the bowels of the ship. Hhhhmmm......

Break away to 1952. Two college kids are out parking. (Do kids even do that these days?) Typical for B-movie needs, the guy takes off into the woods for a leak. In his absence the chick in the convertible car gets visited by an escaped psycho who axes her to death. While this is happening, the guy in the woods stumbles upon where the alien pod landed. We learn the thing that the alien was carrying is some slug like creature that breaks out of the pod and propels itself into the mouth of the guy.

Fast forward to 1986. Big hair; bad clothes; great music..... ahhhh the memories.......

Here we have college kids trying to fit in and trying to get laid, picking on nerdy kids, and providing gratuitous boob shots that have become a staple of B-movie worthiness. The acting was laughable, the cast was mostly no name actors, the script was so obviously memorized.... all in all, this was turning out to be a GREAT movie!

We see the main boob character, Chris, taking a shine to sorority girl Cindy, who tries to win her over by pledging to a fraternity. His mission? Steal a body from the morgue and leave it at a designated spot on campus.

Now apparently the dude from 1952, the one with the alien slug in his body, was cryogenically frozen and being kept unsafely locked away at said morgue, so when smart boy Chris and his buddy CJ end up unfreezing said dude (hey - it's a body, right?) they discover he isn't really "dead" and run away like the scared little sissies they were. In a matter of a minute, 1952 dude slug-infects the dumb science guy who had him unsafely locked away, then wanders out into the night to wreck more havoc on the town.

Before you know it, the campus is overrun with zombie-inducing slugs and it doesn't take long for them to connect with bodies. Frat bodies. The used up cop on the case, ironically the same cop on the case from 1952, announces their arrival with a classic one liner: "Girls, the good news is that your dates are here. The bad news is that they are all dead!"

Who could have predicted that this movie would turn out to be such a gem? Writer/director Fred Dekker is to thank for this masterpeice, and this movie isn't his only nugget of delight. He actually has a small number of them to his credit.

Things to know about this film ahead of time however (so you on't be disappointed when you see it) are the following:

• The zombies in this film don't eat people. They spew out those damned slug things into your mouth.
• You never find out why the 1952 guy was cryogenically frozen, or if the government ever knew about the slugs or pod or any of it.

Like so many movies I watch, this one is not for everyone. But if you enjoyed Shaun of the Dead or Idle Hands, you will probably love this one every bit as much as I did. Even if the zombies don't eat the nerdy cool kids.

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2008 Day of the Dead

More often than not, if George A. Romero wrote it, chances are I'm going to like it. Granted I have not seen all his work and some of what I have seen I don't remember (please don't ask.) But he rarely, if ever, disappoints.

I had an opportunity to snag Day of the Dead, the 2008 version, for about 6 bucks recently, so based on the cost of rentals these days, I bit on the offer. I realize it's not the 1985 Romero version, but it is based loosely on the same, plus Ving Rhames and Mena Suvari are in it, so I figured it had to have promise. As I've stated so many times before, if it's got zombies in it, most likely I will like it.

This version was directed by Steve Miner, director of one of my favorite Halloween movies, H2O, as well as Friday the 13th numbers 2 & 3. That right there was an added bonus, and I can tell you I was a happy camper to have a new zombie movie for the weekend!

Now remember, this movie is not a remake of Romero's, but he is given credit as one of the writers. You would think they'd give it a different name, but hey - it worked for the Evil Dead 1 & 2, so who's to say it can't work for this one, right?

Day of the Dead 2008 "Pros"

The action. Five minutes into the movie we have our first victim, fallen prey to an unseen assailant. Another 15 minutes (give or take) into the movie and the action really begins at the local hospital where about half of the towns population shows up for treatment of various "ailments."

Soon it's every person for themselves when the sick transform and begin to attack the healthy (picture piranhas attacking chum tossed into their tank.) Quicker than you can say Eeeewww!! undead people are attacking living people and ripping off body parts with their teeth in a glorious blood fest! WOW! Talk about sheer pandemonium!

Oh yeh, this is definitely my kind of movie!

Bud. Bud is a GI who has developed quite a crush on Sarah (played by Mena Survari) but sadly gets bitten by a zombie. Soon after he himself is an undead, yet Sarah keeps him around because "he listens to orders."

Now on the surface one might think it's a bit odd to keep a zombie close at hand, but what we find out about Bud is that he actually protects Sarah from other zombies. How cool is that? It's like she's got her very own Fido who will love and protect her no matter what!

The graphics. Ripping flesh and blood spewage was so believably executed that I found myself peeking through my fingers on occasion or two. And that's not something I do very often! (ok, so it might have been the tequila, but that's a whole 'nother story.)

Day of the Dead 2008 "Cons"

Ving Rhames undead. Ving Rhames is such a strong actor.....well, I think he's a strong actor. And they turned him into a zombie at about the 30 minute mark! What the f***?? Apparently the director didn't want to be compared to Dawn of the Dead. Oh well, Ving as a legless zombie was pretty cool. I wouldn't want to piss him off, that's for damned sure!

Zombie Traits. Ok. Everyone knows that zombies possess certain characteristics. Modify them slightly from movie to movie, but to change them up completely just throws everything off balance, and that is just what this movie did.

This movie had zombies running at high speeds; performing acrobatic acts; and lastly, but certainly not least, this movie gave zombies the ability to have CHOICE! Again I have to ask... what the f***?? Anyone with half a brain knows that zombies do not think! They crave. And what they crave is eating brains!

And what the hell is up with zombies running at high speeds? How the hell are those of us with half a brain supposed to get away with f'n zombies running faster than us? I may as well roll over and play dead at that point.

So anyway, I have to say this is one zombie movie I can watch over and over. It has most of the standard B movie criteria (well, except for the gratuitous boob shot) which in layman terms, means I love it.

I'm starting to see a trend with me and bad movies. Maybe what my husband has been saying all these years is right.... maybe I am the uber dork!

Nah.

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Journey to the Center of the Earth

ok. So time for one more confession.

I'm a big Brendan Frasier fan.

Now I know what you are thinking.... he is no Brad Pitt, and you might have a point there but I have a thing for guys with a sense of humor, who know how to really laugh, and Brendan Fraser does both.

Brad Pitt cheats on his wife. Enough said.

So needless to say I was very excited this past weekend when my husband agreed to go see Journey. Unfortunately it was not the 3D version as apparently our local theaters are too cheap to spring for those highfalutin' special paper glasses or something, so we were forced to watch the "normal" version.......

If you expect this movie to be a remake of the 1959 version that starred Pat Boone, you will probably be disappointed. It is not. Although the 2008 version has the same basic vein as the 1959 movie (well.....at least the same title) the entire story has been modified to be more fun, slightly campy, and 100% bubblegum entertainment for the entire family.

Cause & Effect

Brendan Fraser plays Trevor Anderson, a science professor who discovers that his long lost brother may have disappeared due to his finding the passageway to the earth's very core. Unfortunately he does this on the first weekend that his nephew Sean comes to stay with him for a couple weeks.

Using Jules Verne's book "A Journey to the Center of the Earth" as a guide, the two set off to Iceland in hopes of finding some evidence to Trevor's theory. Instead what they find is a very expensive blond mountain guide named Hannah (that Sean called dibs on, BTW) and proof that Jules Verne's book was not science fiction, but non-fiction.....

Result

Trapped at the earths core, with flesh eating flying fish, giant carnivorous dinosaurs and the center's quickly rising heat, the three struggle to find a way back to their world on the "surface" before their time runs out and they are either eaten or cooked alive. The discovery of Sam's abode where he spent the last days of his life, and notes on how to return home, inspire the trio and soon they are racing against time and fate to make it back home.

Conclusion

There isn't great character development or a deep story line, but the actors deliver fun and the film entertains. It's quick paced, provides enough action and witty remarks to remain interesting throughout, and ends in a manner fitting for the movie.

There seems to be a trend with Brendan Frasier and women with accents (guess I need to brush up on my German heritage to have any chance) but that aside, I did thoroughly enjoy this movie. To enjoy the movie, however, one must be sure to know, going in, that it is for entertainment value only, and not a literary masterpiece displayed impressively on film. Think Jurassic Park or Back to the Future - and you will have the same campy feel with Journey to the Center of the Earth. It won't leave you more knowledgeable of history or politics or Shakespeare...... but is that all there is to a good movie? I mean really??

Movies exist to entertain us, and this one did it for me. How 'bout you? A flop, or not?

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Dead Alive aka Brain Dead

Typically I am not a fan of movies that provide gore just for the sake of shock effect. Usually in these cases the gore is lamely executed or the story line is exceptionally weak. It's also in these cases that I find myself annoyed or disgusted, all too aware that the movie is trying to make up for an extremely poor plot by providing mass quantities of blood and innards and gore (think Cabin Fever.)

I was a little worried when I first popped Dead Alive (aka Braindead) into the DVD player. I just kept telling myself "Zombies! There are zombies in this movie so it has to be good." Now I know you are thinking.... "Huh? Just 'cuz a movie has zombies does not mean its going to be good." Well, you could be right, but all zombie movies deserve an open minded chance, and this one was no different.

Cause & Effect

It would seem that a bite from a Sumatran rat-monkey can cause people to die slow, horrible deaths. As well, these same bites can cause these same now dead people to re-animate and go on a killing spree.

That's what happened to Lionel's mom at the zoo. A damned rat-monkey bit her while she was spying on her adult son having what was most likely his first date ever with a girl named Paquita (the dumb bitty had to go and flaunt her goodies to Lionel and try to take her son from her. Not a chance in hell she is going to let that happen!)

Soon Lionel's mom is literally falling apart (at one point, her ear fell off into her porridge and she ends up eating it) and no one can determine what is wrong. No one that is, until she dies and tries to eat the nurse that pronounced her dead. Then Lionel determines what is wrong with her, but can't seem to stop her from turning a handful of other people into flesh eating zombies, even though he was keeping her locked in the basement for the most part....

Result

Lionel breaks up with Paquita in an attempts to save her from certain fate, and to keep his zombie mom and her clan a secret. After all, Lionel is allowing the zombies to stay at his place, where he picks up after them, makes them supper, and finds ways for them to be entertained without going out for fresh "meat." But one night when Lionel isn't looking, two of the zombies have a little fling and the result is the fastest conception and birth known to man! Or perhaps I should say "known to zombie."

A BABY! That's right. A little zombie baby that "popped" right out after about 5 minutes of baking. And talk about ugly! WHOA! Reason #1 for birth control!

A particularly funny scene is when Lionel tries to maintain some sort of normalcy and decides to take the "baby" to the park in a stroller. Who cares that he has to use barbed wire to keep the baby in the stroller (so it won't eat anyone of course) Lionel still tries to look normal and fit in. Unfortunately things get out of hand, baby escapes, and the cheesy, corny, gawd awful meyhem that ensues is absolutely hysterical! This scene alone is one reason of many to watch this movie for sure!

Conclusion

So Lionel's uncle finds out about the dead bodies in the basement (not realizing they are really zombies because Lionel has taken to giving them tranquilizers to knock 'em out on a regular basis) and threatens to go to the cops unless Lionel forks over some of his poor dead mother's sizable estate. Lionel tells him he can have it all, and plans on skipping town. Unfortunately his uncle shows up before Lionel can leave, bringing in tow a large amount of his loser buddies for a party, and has Lionel serve as their personal wait-wench.

What happens next is sheer genius, ranking alongside The Evil Dead, which as you all know, I absolutely loved!

First Paquita happens by, sees the "party" and gets very upset for Lionel apparently not being heartbroken over their "break."

Then an enlightened Paquita and Lionel thought they had found a way to kill, for good this time, the zombies in the basement, but what they ended up doing was giving them animal stimulants resulting in the party goers upstairs being fresh meat treats for the energetic zombies!

Before long Lionel is ass over bandbox in zombies and finds the only weapon he can effectively use: a lawnmower. Sooner than you can say "Dude!" it's every zombie for themselves as body parts meet blades in a blood curdling climax!

But wait! It doesn't end there! Becuase in the midst of zombie carnage, Lionel's mother never showed, and he can't leave her "undead" else she might try to recreate what he worked so diligently to destroy. Now if only he could find out where she was lurking.....

The REAL Conclusion

So mom has apparently morphed into some gigantic ugly mutant thing with saggy boobs, and thunder thighs. I don't think I'd admit to being related myself, but poor Lionel always was a momma's boy. That is until he saw her as a pus oozing zombie monster. Not to mention he found out some rather unfavorable information about her in a locked chest, but you'll have to watch the movie to find out what that was.

So anyway, after seeing his mom in a new "light" Lionel puts and ends to his past, and opens the door to his zombie free future with Paquita.....

.... oh hell..... was that the little zombie-baby-bastard running off into the woods....???? Better tune in to find out!

Recommendation

I must confess, I was leary going into this. Cult followings do not always mean I am going to like a movie, especially when it starts out with British accents (think "Train Spotting" - can you say gagggg??)

But this one delivers. With a decapitated zombie having a lawn gnome stuffed down his neck (gotta have a head, ya know) to Lionel's mom being overstuffed with embalming fluid so she literally explodes in a gory goo (but still survives as an undead, of course); to zombie sex and love in the afternoon. This movie has it all. From a journey of personal growth and self discovery (Lionel's battle with the umbilical cord) to selfless love when least expected (Paquita's love for Lionel. I mean really - I don't know if I could risk my life fighting zombies for my husband!); to comedy and suspense, and gore, and blood. Did I mention the blood?? There is even the standard boob shot! Granted it's old and misshapen and slightly ridiculous, but it's in there!

Should you see this movie? Oh yeh. I would actually suggest you purchase it as it is most definitely a keeper for anyone who considers themselves a horror fan. Go on! What are you waiting for??!!!

Interesting Movie Facts

• Braindead has been recorded as the bloodiest film ever, literally! About 600 gallons of fake blood was used during the production.

• This movie is actually known by two names. In the UK it is named "Braindead", in the US it is named "Dead-Alive".

• Director Peter Jackson makes a cameo appearance as the Mortuary Director's Assistant when Lionel's mom is being filled with embalming fluid. Whilst the fluid gushes out of Mum, Jackson grabs the sandwich he left beside the corpse and takes a bite. Oh, and did I mention its covered in embalming fluid??

• The movie rental release in Sweden came with supplemental vomit bags (can't imagine why!)

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Quiz: How Did They Die? Part 1 (easy)

While surfing the web as it seems I always do (I lead such an exciting life) I ran across a quiz that I excelled at (otherwise I'd be really embarrassed) and I thought it would be fun to see how you guys do.

Now this is not the same quiz I found. I changed up some answer options to make it more to my liking and added a few questions of my own, so I do not feel this is a true example of plagiarism (and anyone saying otherwise can kiss my lil' ass!) So there!

NOW - WordPress apparently does not have a quiz plugin compatible with the latest version of WordPress (trust me; I looked hard for one but to no avail) so I have the answers old school form, in an upside down list at the bottom of the post. Sorry. It's the best I can do.

So anyway - have fun, and let me know how you did in the comments, k?

How did each one of the following die:

Drew Barrymore in Scream?

1. Beat to death by a shovel
2. Stabbed to death
3. Burned alive in the kitchen
4. Drowned in the swimming pool

Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elm Street?

1. Pulled through a bed
2. Hung over a bed
3. Burned in a bed
4. Squashed by a bed

Paris Hilton in House of Wax?

1. Drowned in a vat of hot wax
2. Skinned alive (think "filleted")
3. Had a pole shoved through her head
4. Had a pitchfork stabbed through her heart

Kevin Bacon in Friday the 13?

1. Columbian necktie
2. Decapitated
3. Stabbed through the neck
4. Stabbed through the eye

Tara Reid in Urban Legend?

1. Head split open with an ax
2. Pushed in the path of a truck
3. Pushed out of a window
4. Pushed off a balcony

Sarah Michelle Gellar in I know What you did last summer?

1. Pushed off a balcony
2. Decapitated
3. Columbian Necktie
4. Stabbed with a hook

Amanda Peet in identity?

1. Skinned alive
2. Drowned in a swimming pool
3. Pushed out of a window
4. Beat to death by a shovel

Sean William Scott in Final Destination?

1. Decapitated by an airplane propeller
2. Flattened by a train
3. Hit in the face by a piece of a train
4. Pushed out of an airplane

Jada Pinkett Smith in Scream 2

1. Gutted to death
2. Choked to death
3. Beath to death
4. Stabbed to death

John Travolta in Carrie?

1. Burned with all the other heathens at prom
2. Killed in a car
3. Killed in the school bathroom
4. Burned in the school boiler

Janet Leigh in Psycho?

1. Stabbed in the shower
2. Drowned in the tub
3. Strangled in the shower
4. Dismembered in the tub

Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween 8: Resurrection?

1. Stabbed to death
2. Fell off a roof
3. Got accidentally shot by the good guys
4. Electrocuted

Jack Nicholson in The Shining?

1. He is killed by the ghosts of the hotel
2. His wife runs him down w/a snowmobile
3. He freezes to death in a storm
4. His wife ends up "axing" him (literally)

Wasn't that fun???? I just know you guys can't wait til the next installment! It's only fair I warn you, it's gonna be a little tougher...... can you handle it??

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