Troma’s 1986 “Class of Nuke ‘Em High”
Unless you've been living under a rock, I'm willing to bet you've heard the name "Troma" - a name that is synonymous with B-film. Some might even dare to say Troma Entertainment is the king of B. Would they be right? Well - as my mother likes to say, "that's why they have chocolate AND vanilla - cuz not everyone likes the same thing."
Myself? I just like B. Regardless of who directed it.
Be that as it may, there is no doubt that the Troma team has skills (chicks dig guys with skills.) I dig Troma. Especially the 1980's gem: "Class of Nuke "Em High."
Cause & Effect
A nuclear power plant opens in Tromaville, NJ (nuclear capital of the world) right near the local high school. Too bad a nasty accident results in toxic waste contaminating the schools water supply so the only smart kid left starts foaming green puke and ends up having his face melt off in front of all his derelict schoolmates.
Luckily these schoolmates aren't fazed by melting flesh as they are more intent on getting high and having sex with whoever will put out. Little do they realize that the pot they scored from a band of Twisted Sister rejects was actually home-grown and "fertilized" at the aforementioned plant.
These Twisted Sisters rejects are actually the former honor society who now call themselves the "Cretins" and make a point to menace whoever finds themselves in their path. Couple this with the melting face guy and you'd think someone with a brain might make a connection to the power plant and try to shut it down.
But brains are few and far between in Tromaville and soon after smoking one of the Cretins toxic joints, high school sweethearts Warren and Chrissy have sex for the very first time. That in itself is no big deal, but soon Warren is hallucinating that his Johnson is 6 feet long and Chrissy actually upchucks her "baby" - a wiggling green giant tadpole looking thing..... suddenly people are taking notice.
Result
Warren wants revenge on the Cretins for the "poison" they are spreading, and poor Chrissy has to explain to her mother how she managed to be 9 months pregnant in a matter of days. Sadly no one realizes Chrissy's upchucked baby is alive and well and growing rather large in the schools toilet system until its too late.
Soon people are dying left and right and the Cretins have decided that mental torture is not enough to appease them. It's a good thing weapons just happen to readily available to derelicts.....
Will Warren and Chrissy be able to make people listen? Will they be able to stop the Cretins rampage? Will they be able to stop their giant "porcupine-tadpole-tremor-like-worm-thingy" child from killing everyone in their toxic waste laden town?
Does anyone really care???
Conclusion
What's cool about Troma films is that at the same time you are chastising yourself for watching such drivel, you find there is no way you can turn the movie off until after the credits roll. What's even worse is that when it's all over, you find yourself wanting more!
The 80's hair, clothing, and stereotypes are grossly exaggerated in this film, as are the special effects for "gore." Some of it was rather impressive actually, and I found myself surprised at how well they pulled it off.
As with any really good B movie, you have to practice a “willing suspension of disbelief” and if that’s not something you can do easily (much like my better half) then don’t waste your time watching this movie.
However if you can suspend belief, and have a particular affinity for cheese, then this movie is for you. I can’t wait to see Troma’s “Toxic Avenger” as this movie is supposed to pale in comparison, but time will tell and my trip to Best Buy today will determine how much time that is going to have to be…..
Recommendation
See it. Yup. That pretty much sums it up. Or don’t. but if you don’t, you will really be missing out on a B classic.
This is one that I definitely have to check out this summer. That trailer is a masterpiece… so I can only imagine the movie is so much more!
Monkeyfaces last blog post..Parasite
Sometimes Troma can be a little hit or miss, but Class of Nuke’Em High is definitely a hit.
One of the scenes from this that made me want to see the movie was when that guy gets punched down the throat… That disturbed the hell out of me as a kid, but I had to see it after that.
I haven’t seen any of the sequels but I heard they weren’t so good.
enemys last blog post..Parasite
Hello Petra. No need to cringe, child. The new and improved polite Max is here. First, I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed your pithy review of “Class of Nuke ‘em High.” IYour recommendation bears repeating: “See it. Yup. That pretty much sums it up. Or don’t.”
Now, I can’t speak for the others, but I can tell you that helped ME make up my mind.
And, Petra, even though I am too young to remember the 80s, please don’t jump to the conclusion that just because some of us happen to live under rocks, we are not aware of the high culture in movies that you sun-dwellers have. K?
Comments on the review itself? Mistakes? Too numerous to account for here. Your ramblings are truly tortuous, my luv. Perhaps I shall have my good friend Tal E Wacker do a review on your review, just to clear the muddy waters a bit. After Buddy Hackett and Hllary’s description of her talents have had sufficient time to run. Because this movie is so high-class it begs for a more lucid treatment.
And how is your day going so far, sweet thing?
Candy Girls last blog post..Cajuns and Castles
Pay no attention to the name on the above post. You know in your heart it was really me.
Relax Maxs last blog post..Cajuns and Castles
And, since you are moderating comments this morning, moderate THIS Petra. See? There really ARE 6 foot Johnsons. btw, do you know why they are called Johnson’s? Shall I tell you?
I may.
Or I may post the answer on Clairebear’s lovely blog. That one has actual readers. Or at least groupies. (I have disciplined Candy Girl again for speaking about my good friend Claire in a disparaging manner, of course.)
Relax Maxs last blog post..Cajuns and Castles
Petra
I have seen my share of Troma films and have found I usually do not care for them. I recently tried to watch one that was about fast fried chicken, zombie chickens or some theme, and just could not in fact finish it. I thought some bits were clever really, but some of the constant bathroom “humor” is too much for me. I was watching it with my wife at the time who can barely handle George Romero films so that definitely influenced my decision to pop in something different and suitable. I think I soothed things over with a Bruce Willis flick.
I began a new category at the Cafe to promote blogs sites I have been checking out lately, most from the LAMB, that I use for reference and inspiration and your site has the dubious honor of being the first one I reviewed. I hope the words and promotion help you out. I also added you to my “selective” blogroll list. Good job here.
Hi Bill! I completely understand your take on Troma. They are either dead on (no pun intended) or totally off base and not worth the effort.
I can only remember ever walking out of one movie. It wasn’t Troma but looking back I wish I had not because I have a feeling it was probably right up my alley. I walked out of “The house on sorority row.” I need to rent it just to see if my abandonment was justified, but based on my flavor for cheese, I am not so sure.
I think its so cool that you posted about me! I am honored! I am off to check it out now. I will definitely add you to my blog roll as well being as I have enjoyed visiting your blog.
@Monkeyface – (I love your nickname BTW) Let know know when you see it. I’d like to hear your thoughts.
@Enemy – I have not seen the sequels either. I agree that they do not look appealing at all.
@MaxMaxMax- tsktsk – what am I going to do about you???